Bloodthirsty killer wanted

seek Biotic soldier cerberus adSo here’s a nice ad that went up on Seek yesterday.

Apparently the Cerberus organisation is looking to hire a biotic-powered super soldier.

The copy is quite a treat :

Cerberus is a leading galactic organisation, devoted to human survival at any cost. Due to the recent disappearance of entire human colonies, Cerberus is looking for a team of elite assassins to join the fight for mankind.

This is a short-term contract to kill or be killed. You will have a passion for the mercenary industry and a natural flair for killing. Blood, guts and exploding torsos is all in a day’s work for you, and you love it!

Nothing makes you salivate more than a bloody battle, and a good, messy kill. We’re looking for a real go-getter!

KEY RESPONSIBILITIES

  • Work closely with the most wretched and dangerous scum of inter-galactic society.
  • Strategically plan and implement pain, death and destruction on enemy aliens.
  • Save the human race.

KEY EXPERIENCE & SKILLS

  • Over 80 kills to your name.
  • Comfortable with a range of heavy machinery including the MC-77 Missile Launcher and the X-8A Avenger Assault Rifle.
  • A practical, hands-on approach to killing.

Overall, this role requires someone who is very results driven and motivated to succeed. Failure will lead to your death and the death of all human beings, so you must work well under pressure.

Role includes company weapons and tax benefits.

The ad links (in case you hadn’t worked it out by now) to the website of a new shoot-em-up. In this case, it’s EA Games Mass Effect 2. From the number of times it’s being forwarded to us today, it’s well on the way to going viral. Razor was the agency responsible for this effort.

UPDATE:

It seems the ad has now been taken down. Dr Mumbo wonders why on earth – or the galaxy – the team at Seek would have a problem with it…

5pm UPDATE:

A Seek spokesman has informed Dr Mumbo that it took the ad down at around 3pm today after it was brought to their attention by the folks at customer service. The spokesman said: “The ACCC states that all ads must be real and not misleading.”

He had the good humour to add however: “But it fits in nicely with our current ad campaign which says ‘If it exists, it’s on Seek’.”

The fake job ad had 12,000 views before it was finally removed. A win, win for everyone really.

Comments


  1. Kristian
    14 Jan 10
    1:53 pm

  2. Oh great, more spam on employment websites.

  3. Belinda
    14 Jan 10
    2:19 pm

  4. Cool and funny.

  5. Beaudacious
    14 Jan 10
    3:13 pm

  6. Definitely in the ‘Wish I’d Thought Of It’ category

  7. Buzz Lightyear
    14 Jan 10
    8:23 pm

  8. Damn it, I spent all morning re-jigging my CV to apply for the position.

    Better take my kill count off before I forget …

  9. y0z2a
    15 Jan 10
    11:49 am

  10. @Kristian – you mean that there are REAL “jobs” advertised by the less than spotless recruitment agents of Sydney – I have to say that I don’t think there is much more that you can say to that. Thanks for coming.

  11. JeffD
    15 Jan 10
    12:05 pm

  12. KEY RESPONSIBILITIES

    - Work closely with the most wretched and dangerous scum of inter-galactic society. (BANKERS!!?)

    - Strategically plan and implement pain, death and destruction on enemy aliens.
    (UMMM, AGAINST BANKERS AND MAQCAURIE BANK??)

    - Save the human race.
    (AGAINST BANKS. GUESS YOU SAW THAT ONE COMING, HUH?)

  13. Wilhaus
    15 Jan 10
    12:58 pm

  14. Nice!
    On the subject of Real vs Surely-Not-You’ve-got-To-Be-Kidding job ads, a mate sent this one through earlier this week if anyone’s up for a chuckle:
    http://www.theregister.co.uk/2.....developer/
    There’s a typo and then…Something you weren’t quite expecting…And then another …

  15. David@luvyawork
    15 Jan 10
    1:48 pm

  16. Bit of bad humour from Seek there. Probably should’ve just done a deal for a bigger cut…

    12,000′s a good view count though. Pretty good result.

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