Federal Government pitch requires winning agency to relocate to Western Sydney
Noon update: This story was published on April Fool’s Day.
The winner of the Federal Government’s media account will be required to move its headquarters to Western Sydney, documents seen by Mumbrella reveal.
It is understood that revised tender documents informed the agencies that one of the requirements of the consolidated $137m media account would be that the agency was willing to move its offices to Parramatta or another part of Western Sydney.
The new requirement is part of a broad push by both Federal and State Governments to ensure those working for the government are connected to “ocker Aussies”.
A source close to the process told Mumbrella: “So far we’re not convinced that some of the people working on this pitch have ever met a middle Australian. All they seem to be interested in is craft beer and soy lattes.”
A further requirement is that every agency needs to pass a culture test. If more than one in three staff has an English accent or doesn’t know who Molly Meldrum is, the agency will be removed from the process. As part of this process Sam Kekovic has been drafted into the judging panel process as an arbiter for Australian culture.
Mumbrella understands that front runner UM has ruled itself out of the contest after being unable to get insurance for CEO Mat Baxter’s Ferrari to be parked anywhere beyond a five mile radius of Surry Hills.
However, a spokesman for independent agency TMS said that if it wasn’t too late, it wanted to join the tender process. “We’re in St Leonards, so this would be an improvement.”
OMD has chartered a Parramatta river boat to take senior staff on a fact-finding mission from its Pyrmont offices.
Meanwhile another unnamed agency chief is understood to have put a block booking on Parramatta’s premium tanning salon Orange.
Starcom’s chairman John Sintras is also understood to be practising for another part of the culture test, with senior executives challenged to skull a beer faster than former PM Bob Hawke.
Mumbrella understands that Mindshare is now a frontrunner to win the account because CEO Katie Rigg-Smith does a pilates class in Parramatta.
Hilarious!
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The pilates was to much 😀
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April fools????
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THIS IS SOY FUNNY
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This is disgraceful! I can’t believe the Federal Government can get away with something like this in this day and age.
Racist much??
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Actually, this April Fool’s Day post isn’t as silly as it might appear at first. The western suburbs has been constantly pandered to by governments because of the large number of marginal seats there. The Keating government had begun construction of the Badgerys Creek second Sydney airport, and when Howard won in 1996 construction was stopped so that Jackie Kelly could hold onto her seat. The Baby Bonus was introduced to reward the Howard Battlers in the western suburbs for saving the government from defeat in the 1998 election. The sooner governments begin ignoring these people the better.
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What’s with the inability to spell in the media industry? Max and Johnny, go to class.
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As if Katie Rigg-Smith goes to Parra for her fitness classes. worst fact checkers in journalism!
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April fools or not- this article is offensive. You have just stereotyped western sydney residents as ‘ockers’ among other things.
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Oh dear 2 cents it was funny the first time but your attempt at humour is really lame.
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Wanderers!
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Groucho- I wasn’t attempting to be funny.
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