Lingerie brand tells women: You should know what to expect when a man asks you over for a movie

Melbourne underwear company Kayser Lingerie is facing calls calls for a consumer boycott after it posted an ill-conceived Tweet which suggested a movie date equated to a sexual encounter.

The Twittesphere erupted last night with writers saying the brand had implied that women should expect to be sexually assaulted, or that they should be prepared to have sex, if they went on a movie date with a man.

A senior female account director for Melbourne agency Get Glossy, which handles the brand’s social media postings, wrote “#KayserMaleInsider If a guy invites you over to watch a movie, you should know what they’re expecting” just before noon yesterday.

It was then posted by an intern, a Get Glossy spokesman told Mumbrella today.

“It was meant to be a girl-to-girl thing, something fun and it’s a shame it was taken by some people to mean something it was never intended to be,” the spokesman said.

“When we saw the reactions we took it down and posted an apology  – and we will certainly be more careful in the future.”

The reaction on Twitter was severe, with one writer saying women should seek a new lingerie brand. Helen Razer wrote “I will never again purchase your garments. And baby, I go through hosiery like there’s no tomorrow.”

Clementine Ford said: “And if you’d decided to have sex with your friend, you know… she should have expected that.”

“Seriously. This insane. DO you believe that women have no sexual agency and men cannot articulate their own desires?” was another post.

Another user @kedjie wrote “It’s really disappointing @kayserlingerie have stopped to sexist crap like that. Ladies, any tips on finding a new bra company.”

The brand later posted: “Hi all, in reference to our earlier Tweet, in hindsight it was inappropriately  worded & we’re sorry for how it came across.”

But that wasn’t accepted some, including Jessica Alice who wrote “inferring women should expect sexual assault is probably a bit different to ‘inappropriately wording’ something.”

The Get Glossy spokesman said the agency stood by the account director who wrote the offending item.

Comments


  1. Sample of one
    10 Jan 13
    11:07 am

  2. Im a guy.

    If if was single, and I asked a single woman over to my place in the evening to ‘watch a movie’ then yeah… I’d be kinda thinking that sex might very well be on the agenda. Unless she was a long term friend or whatever.

  3. willemrt
    10 Jan 13
    11:21 am

  4. the truth be damned. I’m outraged.

    No wonder none of the hot girls wanted to come watch a movie at my house. Makes sense now. #foreveralone

  5. Thom
    10 Jan 13
    11:45 am

  6. Yet more proof not every brand needs a social media presence

  7. Che
    10 Jan 13
    12:10 pm

  8. Sample of One – I think you’ve missed the point. No one is saying men shouldn’t want to have sex with women. The subtext of this tweet is that if a woman watches a movie with a man, she will be obligated to sleep with him and should not say no (and presumably she should be wearing Kayser underwear to be ready for this obligation).

    If nothing else, it shows a really poor understanding of the target market.

  9. Ricki
    10 Jan 13
    12:18 pm

  10. I’m a girl.

    If a guy I was keen on asked me over to watch a movie together, and I said yes…he better know what I’m expecting. i.e. don’t bother going to Blockbuster and make sure you’ve got clean sheets on the bed. But that is just me…I don’t claim to speak for all women.

    The twitter reaction to this tweet was OTT and does the bigger issue of sexism and rape ‘culture’ (which is a real thing that deserves action against it) a disservice. Must have been a slow ‘rage day’ on the twitters.

  11. Dawn
    10 Jan 13
    12:48 pm

  12. I saw this yesterday and could not believe what I was reading. I’m pretty sure I don’t need to look to a lingerie brand for any kind of advice on what mean may or may not expect and whether I should or should not be aware of that. Please. I’m with Helen Razer…I won’t even begin to add up how much I’ve spent on Kayser products over the last year…never again – apology or not!

  13. NS
    10 Jan 13
    12:50 pm

  14. Ricki + 1

    typical OTT social media reaction

    man-haters like Clem Ford have now been well-fed

  15. Dawn
    10 Jan 13
    12:50 pm

  16. I saw this yesterday and could not believe what I was reading. I’m pretty sure I don’t need to look to a lingerie brand for any kind of advice on what men may or may not expect and whether I should or should not be aware of that. Please. I’m with Helen Razer…I won’t even begin to add up how much I’ve spent on Kayser products over the last year…never again – apology or not!

  17. Kailei
    10 Jan 13
    12:51 pm

  18. Chill out people! Everyone knows that if a guy (who hasn’t been ‘friendzoned’) invites you over to watch movies, it’s clearly going to result in a happy ending…and not just seeing Drew Barrymore and Justin Long get together in the end!

    Nuff said.

  19. Mish
    10 Jan 13
    12:51 pm

  20. The girls at my office think movie is code for sex, except for me – movie is code for movie. Now I’m wondering about all my single guy friends I’ve invited over for a movie…

    But if I invited a guy over to clean my pool, then yes, expect some action. Bow-puka bow-bow!

  21. KymS
    10 Jan 13
    12:53 pm

  22. As a male, I find it offensive that a comment like that is automatically interpreted by women as ‘sexual assualt’. There is a rather large distinction between a level of expectation of sex on the male’s part, and the male forcibly trying to have sex with the women if she is not willing to.

  23. Really?
    10 Jan 13
    12:55 pm

  24. Can we all unbunch our panties? I am a female, and i can obviously still take a joke. i cannot believe the reaction to this – what happened to the light hearted joke makers of Australia? they must all be cowering in a corner for fear of feminist uproar.
    No where in that tweet did they say you had to sleep with the man, its all fun.
    It would be nice to see a company stick to their guns for once and say that it was all in good fun and there was a massive misunderstanding.

  25. CJN
    10 Jan 13
    12:56 pm

  26. How many of these social media catastrof….ies get attributed to nameless, rogue interns? Yet the next day some agencies (often the very same intern sacrificing ‘experts’) jump on the ‘brands don’t have enough respect/process when it comes to handling social media’ bandwagon. Not a good look is it?

  27. Sarah
    10 Jan 13
    12:57 pm

  28. Well if a guy asked me over for a movie, I would first of all expect a movie LOL.

  29. Movie Guy
    10 Jan 13
    1:01 pm

  30. Ummm. Stating the obvious really. Movie = action

  31. Marc
    10 Jan 13
    1:06 pm

  32. Over reaction maybe?

    Someone in the office posted a tweet without running it through the offense-o-meter and the company should be closed?

    They have apologised, likely learnt a lesson and gave the offender another chance at a career in social media. Surely that’s enough.

  33. Sarah
    10 Jan 13
    1:10 pm

  34. Here, here Ricki.

    I asked a guy over for a movie last night. I expected more than popcorn.

  35. Baz
    10 Jan 13
    1:15 pm

  36. I m making this comment in a purely pragmatic fashion with respect to all women and men. I understand if people may be offended by the tweet but I think it was toungue in cheek and not out to suggest assault etc.

    In my opinion it wont however harm the brand in the med to long term, if anything they will benefit from it. Its polarising and remember the silent majority will never comment as they are not taking offence or they dont care. However the publicity from us commentators will give the brand legs with this silent majority. It kind of throws me back to the nuances of the provocative postering campaign of Benetton (UK) in the 90s. Remember the devil and the angel, black and white? It was extremely provocative and almost disturbing but it didnt do their brand awarness any harm.

  37. Smell the fear
    10 Jan 13
    1:19 pm

  38. The outraged left strike again……

    worse than tabloid readers

  39. Anonymous
    10 Jan 13
    1:41 pm

  40. “User @kedjie” hasn’t posted a single tweet on his or her account.

  41. Surry Hills
    10 Jan 13
    1:55 pm

  42. I’m a girl too & if a guy asked me over for a “movie” the last thing I would expect is to actually be seeing a movie & munching on popcorn…

    Che – they are simply saying, if you are invited over for a movie, you know what’s on their mind & it’s not a movie.

    No one is actually saying women have to put out.

  43. Anon
    10 Jan 13
    2:24 pm

  44. The overly PC ‘see who can be the most outraged’ social media loser brigade in full swing once again.

  45. whaaaaaaa?
    10 Jan 13
    2:25 pm

  46. that’s insane. when you ask someone over for a movie, it’s to film it.

  47. bob is a rabbit
    10 Jan 13
    2:26 pm

  48. Another reason I’m glad to be left behind in traditional agency land, blatantly ignoring social media at my own peril.

    What an absolute joke of a reaction.

  49. Dan
    10 Jan 13
    2:39 pm

  50. As far as I can see they are not implying that the woman has to have sex, merely that they should know what he is wanting. And they are spot on.
    What is happening to the world. Social media you have a lot to answer for!

  51. paul the freelance writer
    10 Jan 13
    2:49 pm

  52. Bit on the fence on this one. Can understand outrage given global shock over major worldwide cases of violence towards women. Not the right time to suggest what women should or should not expect when having a date, if ever the right time.

    On the other hand, finding Twitter-power a bit over the top. Reinforces my belief that some corporations should not go near social media, at least when at its white-hot apex, with its ability to break. Surely we must be getting over Twitter soon.

    Bear in mind my previous calculation: according to sources, there are between 290 million and 340 million tweets worldwide per day. Take 290 million x 140 characters = 301,890,000,000 characters. At an average character strike of four per second (conservative) that amounts to an aggregate 75,472,500,000 seconds spent tweeting every day. Meaningless until you turn it into years: mankind is spending a combined 2300 years daily on Twitter. Someone please run over the figures again and tell me I’m wrong.

  53. Sarah
    10 Jan 13
    3:25 pm

  54. For the record, I did not say this:
    Here, here Ricki.

    I asked a guy over for a movie last night. I expected more than popcorn.

  55. Sarah
    10 Jan 13
    3:28 pm

  56. Who wrote this artlcle anyhow?

  57. home alone
    10 Jan 13
    3:51 pm

  58. So what does it mean if you dont invite anyone over and sit at home watching a movie by yourself……mmmmm

  59. Confused
    10 Jan 13
    4:01 pm

  60. Ah now I see what I’ve been doing wrong, I keep asking women over for a night of action and they always look disappointed when I get out my boxed set of Bruce Willis DVDs.

  61. Anon
    10 Jan 13
    4:04 pm

  62. See you learn something new every day. I have been invited over to watch a movie with a male friend on Saturday and had no idea it was code for sex. I thought it was going to be a movie and maybe pizza, now I’m wondering if I should cancel…

  63. David
    10 Jan 13
    5:02 pm

  64. Is this where we’ve ended up as a society? That implying an evening may end in sex, it’s considered somehow encouraging sexual assault? Theres no inference in the above that anyone is going to be coerced. Mumbrella ran excellent piece on what most parts of society would consider vile comments on Some men’s Mags social media sites. That’s something to be worried about. That is a problem. This is completely innocuous and the enraged .1% need to find serious issues and causes to rail against.

  65. Paris
    10 Jan 13
    5:09 pm

  66. Also, when a guy invites you over to see his baby goldfish, it is not necessarily to see the baby goldfish. Though he may well have some.

  67. JD
    10 Jan 13
    6:11 pm

  68. If I invite a lady over for a movie and she is wearing knickers she can go right back home again.

  69. Sample of one
    10 Jan 13
    8:56 pm

  70. @Che

    No I don’t think I missed the point at all.

    There have always been coy codes for sex. “Would you like to come up for coffee?” after a date obviously means ‘do you want to stay the night?’

    Now, if I wrote an ad or tweeted about that scenario (when a guy asks you up for coffee its not coffee he has on his mind) would anyone accuse me of promoting sexual assault? Of course they wouldn’t, it’s bloody absurd. Ill bet someone would though, in our faux-outraged twitterverse.

    Is anyone promoting sexual assault in this case? Of course they’re not. Movie = come up for coffee… The subject matter of every sitcom and romcom ever made. The whole response to this is genuinely pathetic. Get over yourselves people.

  71. anon
    11 Jan 13
    1:22 am

  72. what a joke.. if a guy invites you to his place for a movie, sex is on the cards if you say yes..

  73. BSC
    11 Jan 13
    10:41 am

  74. I’d be more offended if somebody invited me for sex and we ended up watching a movie instead.

  75. Josh
    11 Jan 13
    12:34 pm

  76. LOL…blame it on the intern. What a load of horse-shit.

  77. Seaman Hornblower
    11 Jan 13
    2:04 pm

  78. Okay chaps — all you in the ‘come off it’ camp. Let’s take the thought experiment a step further. You invite the woman over for a movie, expecting sex. She shows up, expecting to watch a movie. You make it clear that you expect sex. What’s your next step?

  79. Seaman Hornblower
    11 Jan 13
    2:06 pm

  80. Whoops, forgot to say — once you’ve made it clear you expect sex, she says she doesn’t want to. Now what do you do/say/think?

  81. nell schofield
    11 Jan 13
    2:07 pm

  82. i’m concerned that Mumbrella seems to be increasingly buying into this type of reactionary political over-correction by editorialising like this:

    “an ill-conceived Tweet which suggested a movie date equated to a sexual encounter”

    the Tweet did no such thing. It did not ‘equate’ a movie date with a sexual encounter – it merely warned what a guy’s expectations might be

  83. Seaman Hornblower
    11 Jan 13
    2:10 pm

  84. And what do you think your rights are in this situation? What are hers?

  85. Nanny State
    11 Jan 13
    2:46 pm

  86. MUA-HA-HA-HA-HAAAAAAAA.

    Me > you all.

  87. Guy Pepe
    11 Jan 13
    3:24 pm

  88. Reading this has just racked my brain. No where does it say the male in this situation is going to sexually assault anyone. I mean, sure he might try his luck with the girl but if she says no that should be it, on with the movie. The fact that people have jumped at this conclusion that men will first invite a female over for a movie, then somewhat commit sexual assault is the real problem here. This ‘ill-conceived tweet’ was nothing but a joke. I would like to think that people have the common sense to know when and why they are in danger or who and who not to trust when in situations like being asked over for a movie etc. So for the few that no longer shop at Kayser because of this incident, grow up and get a grip of reality. One person made this tweet, not all those involved in the company.
    Not to mention all those that accused men, capable of rape.

  89. Ricki
    11 Jan 13
    3:30 pm

  90. Seaman Hornblower….no means no. Even if she says yes to a movie. Duh. You have no ‘rights’ to have sex with any person.

  91. bob is a rabbit
    11 Jan 13
    3:54 pm

  92. @ Seaman Hornblower…honestly, I’d think she was a tease. I’d presume she was under the presumption of same, yet chose to play it for some reason. I’d then feel awkward, make an excuse, provide an avenue for an easy out that saves my pride. And, being a gentleman, should she choose to stay and actually watch a movie, I’d suck it up.

    Now, I’m not saying that’s fair – but I am being honest.

    I am bob, and I am a rabbit.

  93. A Rat
    11 Jan 13
    4:00 pm

  94. @ Seaman Hornblower… um, NOT sexual assault? Disappointment? This scenario isn’t the first instance of a man (or woman) having romantic/sexual expectations or hopes that fail to materialise. They happen every day, all the time, and they don’t logically & reasonably lead to sexual assault. The suggestion that this tweet ‘encourages’ sexual assault… to call it tenuous would be generous.

    It wasn’t a great tweet, but the overreaction is absurd.

  95. Anonymous
    11 Jan 13
    7:57 pm

  96. Uh-oh, very soon we’ll run out of tea cups to put these sort of storms into . . .

    As a guy, if i invited a girl over for a movie (because i liked her and was obviously “into her” (hence the invite) I’d be hoping that after the movie (I’d have one ready so I don’t come across as too presumptuous) I’d be in with a chance (especially if I’d been cheeky & charming and had chosen well in the movie department).

    I think it was a great tweet by Kayser to just remind their target market that they should not overlook this “possibility” if they are invited over for a movie and maybe make sure they are wearing a pair of Kayser’s more appropriate product in case that possibility turns into a reality.

    Where is the implied obligation? Where is the threat? Where is the denigration? I wouldn’t invite any of the “OMG I’m soooo outraged!” brigade over for a movie anyway – you can’t take a joke and obviously have no sense of humour and a sense of humour turns my mind on a hell of a lot more than a self-righteous assumption that any attraction to a female cannot be harmlessly expressed as a invitation in hope.

    Come on people! Grow a pair! Enjoy life on the edge without the need to express your moral outrage at innocent or even not so innocent snippets of cheeky humour. Maybe with such an apparent lack of sense of humour you should become naturalised Germans & buy Kaiser lingerie instead?

  97. Waaah
    14 Jan 13
    3:56 pm

  98. This is getting ridiculous… Soon they’ll have to tweet with a bracketed definition following each word. It’s more bloody insulting to men anyway!

  99. Bill Collins
    17 Jan 13
    12:51 pm

  100. What movie out of interest? A good rom com or an action movie with lots of explosions?

  101. Cognitively DIssonant
    17 Jan 13
    1:53 pm

  102. Why are Account Directors writing social media updates instead of creatives?

  103. Marc
    21 Jan 13
    3:23 pm

  104. The brand of bra and knickers has no influence on the outcome of a movie night. Apologies for bursting that bubble

  105. Ernest G Twist
    23 Jan 13
    9:02 am

  106. Has the old euphemism “come in for coffee” been replaced or are people in the 21st century still coy about naughty words like sex! Have I shocked anyone, should I have said “coffee” or “movie” instead of the naughty word “sex.” If I say “I have had coffee” what do I really mean? If I say I watched a movie what do I really mean? I have hired movies, I have had coffee in public. What have I been up to-having coffee in public!

  107. Marty
    7 Feb 13
    8:42 pm

  108. I think people are seeing something that’s not there, but then again, I’m autistic. I don’t read between the lines, so what I’m reading is “you should know what a man expects”, which doesn’t mean “you should expect it too and accept that there’s nothing you can do about it”. Additionally, whenever I see someone inject “subtext” into somebody else’s words, it sounds like they’re putting “words in their mouth” which itself is quite rude. This is nothing but a little light-hearted twitter-banter. I think sometimes people are just LOOKING for something to get outraged about. Epic overreaction imho