Dr Mumbo

On Her Majesty’s Salary Sacrifice

Dr Mumbo has been left shaken, and slightly stirred, by the appointment of James Bond to the role of director of external affairs and investment for the Association of Superannuation Funds of Australia.

Having grown up with the name, Mr Bond is presumably thoroughly sick of the jokes. But that’s not going to stop Dr Mumbo from making them anyway.

Here’s the press release of the announcement in full (with some helpful additional amendments in bold, courtesy of Dr Mumbo):

The Association of Superannuation Funds of Australia today announced it has appointed James Bond to the newly created position of Director of External Affairs, Counter Espionage and Investment.

Mr Bond will have overall responsibility for ASFA’s advocacy with federal parliamentarians, seductive foreign agents and for policy issues affecting the economy, gigantic death rays and investments.

He brings 20 years of experience in public policy to the ASFA team, ten confirmed kills and six years’ experience in the financial services industry, most recently with the Financial Services Council. In addition to a deep understanding of superannuation, hand-to-hand combat and financial services, he has extensive experience in communications, double entendres and advocacy.

“I am delighted to welcome Mr Bond to the ASFA Double-0 team,” said ASFA CEO, Ms Pauline Vamos.

“With his extensive experience behind the Iron Curtain working in the Commonwealth Treasury, and as a senior economic adviser, as well as his regular battles with SPECTRE, contributions to Australian media, he will provide valuable help with the important task of communicating ASFA’s secret messages both to government and to the broader public.

“Given the growth of the Australian superannuation system, the importance of how capital is allocated at the poker table will continue to increase. In particular, impediments to long-term investing need to be removed with extreme prejudice and this will be an important focus of this role.

“It’s now more important than ever that we effectively communicate not just to the government and sinister billionaires but also to the community whose retirement outcomes in the future are so highly dependent on the decisions of government today,” Ms Vamos concluded.

Dr Mumbo hopes that Mr Bond can draw a quantum of solace from the fact that he has now run out of jokes.

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