Attention dumb ladies and bratty PR bitches: Look at the pretty flowers – it’s time for the B&T Women In Media Awards
Ping! An email draws Dr Mumbo’s attention to the news that B&T has launched its Women in Media Awards, with a website with a lovely floral design. As the correspondent puts it: “Nothing says serious awards about the promotion and advancement of women leaders… like some pretty feminine flowers.”
But for those who think that the trade title may not understand the subtleties of how to talk to professional women, they can be reassured by the presence of new B&T online editor John Bastick. In his prior existence, Mr Bastick demonstrated quite an expertise on the nuances of professional sexual politics in his “Manhood” column for Ask Men.
And we certainly have a lot to learn from Mr Bastick’s writing. For instance:
1. Women in PR and media sales are only interested in “shopping and hair dye”
He asks: “Am I wrong in surmising that the women most likely to moan about the apparent ‘man drought’ are white-collar and middle-class with ‘exciting’ jobs in PR and media sales, and whose favourite topic of conversation is shopping and hair dye?”
For the record, yes, John. Yes you are.
2. Working in PR makes you an overpaid, bratty little bitch
Indeed, Mr Bastick is quite preoccupied on the value or otherwise of the PR industry, mulling on one story he read in The Australian. Apparently, working in PR turns you into a “bratty, obnoxious little bitch”, and an overpaid one at that.
“The article featured an interview with a pretty young blonde, 19 I believe she was, who’d just been given the arse from her $1500-a-week week job in PR; a salary I have no idea how they justified paying her at such a tender age, but one she dutifully exhausted every week on a new wardrobe, boozy nights out and trips to the hairdressers. Circumspect, the poor young thing had resigned herself to an immediate future as a modestly paid checkout chick. No, what this downturn has done has saved her from turning out to be a spoiled, bratty, obnoxious little bitch, that’s what it’s done.”
3. It’s “bleeding obvious” that men deserve to earn more than women
Then there was the time Mr Bastick asked (and answered) the question “Should Men Earn More Than Women?”
“It’s over yet another damn newspaper report moaning that Australian men are paid significantly more than Australian women. This latest one comes from the ever whingey ACTU and makes the tenuous claim that the Aussie gentleman, over our working lives, stands to earn an extra million bucks more than our good lady folk. Look, I have no idea at all if that’s true, but it is yet another aspersion against men and the salaries we’re paid.
“I don’t want to document what’s commonly known as the bleeding obvious, but yes, men, if you averaged it out over our working lives do probably get paid more. And here’s the clanger. You know why? Because many of us deserve to…”
You see: “What we do is use that extra money to buy homes, have outrageously huge mortgages, put our kids through school, allow our wives significant time off from their jobs to raise our young children.”
4. Concern about workplace harrasment is overrated
Indeed, men may be the oppressed minority: “Half the time you dare lick an envelope the wrong way in front of a female staff member and you’ll be frogmarched to HR for a dressing down and a sexual harassment charge!”
5. There’s no glass ceiling
Mr Bastick isn’t convinced that the issue of women finding it tougher to get senior jobs should be taken seriously either:
“When it comes to the “glass ceiling” why does it only ever exist in the cushy well-paid jobs like the CEO of Macquarie Bank or becoming Prime Minister? I’m sure there’s no “glass ceiling” when it comes to shovelling manure at the stables at Royal Randwick or laying roof tiles in 40 degree heat.”
6. Men doing housework is like having your penis cut off
But of course, Mr Bastick is a modern man, who until his B&T gig used to freelance from home, where he was able to mull on topics like “Why A Work-Life Balance Is Dangerous” while his wife was at work. Although a man doing housework would equate to having “his penis cut off”.
“Then, when she gets home in the evening, there’s always some blazing row because her brain computes that I’ve been home all day yet that hasn’t translated to the towels being washed, the dinner being cooked and the roof being re-tiled. Because I’ve been effin working all day, haven’t I! I’m not (yet) some pathetic, emasculated househusband who’s had his penis cut-off!”
7. It’s raining dumb women
And despite this happy marriage, Bastick also has views on the dating scene. Or as his article is headlined, “Man Drought? Or Raining Dumb Women“.
You see, the man drought is “propaganda made up by annoying women” waiting while “their vaginas turn to dust”. He suggests: “So in reality it’s not a ‘man’ drought at all – rather it’s a ‘no-rich-blokes-with-Fabio-good-looks-a-stack-of-fast-cars-and-a-whopping-cock’ drought.”
“I’m guessing most of these women who are claiming they can’t find a fella have some sort of tertiary education, a city job, make $70-$80K and would be considered moderately attractive. However, when they walk into a bar full of tertiary educated, city working, $70-80K, moderately attractive single men they’ll claim there’s no good men to be found! Eh?”
8. Women who fail to show sufficient interest in men are snooty, humourless bitches
Dr Mumbo also detects some anger issues: “A 400-buck pair of Sass and Bides, some Terry Biviano pumps and a fake Prada handbag is no compensation for an utter lack of personality and being a stuck-up, charisma-free, humourless bitch. So don’t get all snooty.”
Got it, ladies?
Loving the new catty Mumbrella. Keep up the good fight, B&T and AdNews must be dropping readers like flies.
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Wow, I’m never using a BandT source for an assignment again
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The branding of the awards hardly speaks to leadership, innovation and courage (the values they are celebrating).
It does however speak to 1980s Sheridan duvet covers and Martha Stewartism – hardly inspirational.
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If you think his Ask Men column was trash, I’d have a cursory glance over what he published when editing FHM and Zoo Weekly.
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Have you actually read his blog? While the quotes used are in there, they’re taken way out of context. If you read his articles you’ll find they’re a tongue-in-cheek look at life, rather than the woman-hating rant you’d have us believe. And yes, I am female.
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He didn’t write any of this for B&T though, did he… ? Can’t blame the B&T just because one of their staff used to write for lads mags.
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While this is a disgusting attitude, I’m not sure of it’s relevance in context? After all, not everyone has the good fortune of going straight to the illustrious heights of Mumbrella.. Surely your jurnos had to do other things before the earth-shatteringly important gig of reporting on advertising campaigns?
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Is first prize a matching curtain and cushion ensemble?
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Well, to be honest, I find the event branding to be reasonably offensive. Yet another example of why boys end up thinking blue is theirs and girls only like pink? In this day and age I would have expected something a tad less gender stereotyped… unless I’m missing the hilarious joke??
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He may not have written this for B & T but I will never respect an outlet who puts a man, with such disgraceful thoughts, in charge of all their online content. Out of context or not, this is absolutely appalling. Nice one B & T, looks like you’ve brought a winner on board
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I’m more offended by the flowers.
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What, my vagina’s turning to dust? You mean I have MORE housework to do now?
(And by the way, Dusty Vag is a cracking drag queen name).
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Why give any time at all to such drivel.
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Nice way to deal with B&T’s improving traffic, Tim. Congrats.
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It gets better. Adnews have just published an article about bosses, and only once mentions the word “she”, otherwise referring only to a boss as being a “he”
http://www.adnews.com.au/news/.....t%20bosses
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Wow, I didn’t realise that men like this actually exist. I must be in the wrong social circles. Although sadly it doesn’t surprise me that he works for B&T, the advertising industry is known for being one of the most sexist, in the past and today. Ads with happy excited women talking about cleaning products? Underage looking models advertising handbags in what looks like a porn movie?
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Mmmm love the colour palette- Labia pink, tea biscuit beige,dove grey and a sprig of maidenhair- so 80s.
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Dr Mumbo, this is v. petty, as ‘journo’s’ yourselves surely you understand that a talented journo can don many hats. This is not media news, this is red top style journalism used for competition bashing, poor form.
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Genuine view or satire?
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Agree this floral marketing is poor. And Mr Bastick’s previous missives are repugnant.
However I question the merit of Mumbrella taking such easy shots at an otherwise irrelevant competitor. And giving the post top-billing no less. An unnecessary distraction from the otherwise excellent array of content covered daily here.
The relative offerings of each publication speak for themselves. However Mumbrella’s unnecessary digs at its rival leaves neither looking rosy.
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Why is anything offensive immediately explained as satire or humour taken the wrong way by the over-sensitive?
He wrote it and put his name to it – he owns it.
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Nothing quite like a public annihilation of the old school to kick off the day! (Has Mumbrella considered adding a like button for comments?)
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You gotta feel sorry for the guy with no comments and practically no shares on his columns. [Edited by Mumbrella]
If this is satire, and from reading the articles in full it is clearly not – or he needs to seriously improve his satire writing technique.
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How many female journos are on staff at Mumbrella? Within senior management? Since you’re so committed to gender equality, it must be at least 50%
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Perhaps Mumbrella is raising awareness about the very serious issue of gender discrimination. Do you really think someone capable of such vacuous drivel can then turnaround and celebrate the achievement of women in media? I doubt it.
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He was probably getting paid 13 cents a word for it.
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However, there are a lot of women working in a certain type of PR who match his descriptions perfectly – I admit, I chuckled when I read them.
I’m not talking about the professional public relations experts who know their stuff, I’m talking about the “I used to be a model, and now I’ve married a footy player and have decided (despite having no experience) to open my own PR agency, focused on parties and events” type of PRs.
These women are everywhere, most think that PR and comms is simply about hanging out with celebrities and attending the best parties, and they give the whole industry a bad name.
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This is just mischief making, petty internecine trade rag nastiness.
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It’s sad to see that media/marketing does still have pockets of these pathetic men- the same ones that write air-freshener ads were woman dance around in toxic floral mist. It goes to show that a man’s view on the female experience is still so wrong and dated. Thus your mediocre return on investment for advertising about 90% of the time.
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I once sat opposite AdNews while they spruiked ad space in their upcoming Women in Marketing special. I said I’d advertise with them as soon as there was a Men in Marketing special too. They just looked at me cock-eyed.
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I am sure most of this is taken out of context.
The real problem here is the ‘women in media awards’ – why women only?!
Do we get special awards as aren’t we clever, women have jobs?!
A women with a job?! whats next, a monkey on a skateboard?!
All a bit patronizing.
Equality should mean just that – equal terms regardless of gender.
I suggest the people in Media awards.
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i wonder how many of the commenters excoriating this fella have ever been asked to write to a brief…
these columns are garbage (except number 7) but he’s addressing a specific audience here, not writing an academic paper on gender theory. context is important.
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As one of those ‘white-collar and middle-class’ women with ‘exciting’ jobs in PR and media sales, and whose favourite topic of conversation is shopping and hair dye?”
I’m disappointed that Mumbrella gave any space to the graceless throwback John Bastick. He’s like the flasher outside your bedroom window – craving attention but not really worth it!
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@30/Kate: I saw what you did there:
They just looked at me cock-eyed.
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I would sue your white male arses if I was John or b and t . You guys should be working together for the greater good instead of this petty trash journalism.
The design was created by a beautiful creative gentle female designer with a brief to celebrate the feminine with feminist.
To then link articles of satire meant to take the piss out of men and women from 10 years ago from a dumb arse men’s mag and post a headline in a professional publication like Mumbrella only diminishes you guys .
Do you really think are that stupid ?
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Pseudo intellectual political claptrap.
We all work in a creative industry that requires human intellectual and artistic input to give it life. Good humour and seasoned intellectual banter are fine and noble things, contributing to the well being of teams and projects alike.
Name calling, back biting, them and us, and supposed superiority by virtue of gender is for the clods and troglodytes, those dull and sightless subterranean life forms, who never even get to hope of making the kind of income being questioned and argued about here.
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If anyone bothered to read the articles in question in full would they notice they are actually quite amusing
http://au.askmen.com/money/man.....women.html
http://au.askmen.com/money/man.....lance.html
http://au.askmen.com/money/man.....women.html
http://au.askmen.com/money/man.....women.html
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Despite never wishing to meet this man, the article by Mumbrella stinks.
As for the awards, why even discuss gender when it comes to rewarding exceptional achievements? Surely this is counterproductive to equality?
@Nancy/35… Aren’t you the wife of a B&T exec?
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I share offices and I am an investor in misfits media , not just “a wife of bandt exec ”
The women in media has nothing to do with john Bastik and it’s an all female board .
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Mumbrella gets trashier the older it gets. Following the daily mail model?
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Dumbrella
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And what’s your ratio of female to male journalists, Mumbrella? Surely a week out from your major conference you can find something better to write about than the competition…
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There is no context in which Bastick’s previous writing is acceptable. Whether it’s intended as satire, or intended for a specific audience of sexist men, it’s not on. He has a right to say it because of freedom of speech, but it should pretty much make him unemployable.
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I love it, whenever there is a dead lock in this kind of outrage, the old “what’s your ratio of female to male?” question raises its head.
Might as well ask a hospital how many male nurses it employs, or a shipyard how many female welders. Equality has little to do with numbers in any given space, in spite of much political waffle and flag waving to the contrary.
Humour is essential to highlight the flaws in our thinking, and to reflect our natural absurdities. We often quote bigger pictures, and greater causes, whilst bickering and scratching at minute focus and petty issues.
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When you consider how many of its writers, etc used to work there, the cheap shots Mumbrella has taken at B&T over the years have been a bit like watching a trashy family argue in public; not nearly as entertaining as you’d hope and leaving all involved looking really tacky.
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Richard Moss, this is hardly a dead locked discussion. Judging by their by-lines Mumbrella doesn’t have a single female journalist. I dare say most hospitals would have at least one male nurse 😉
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Hi Underwhelmed,
Just to correct you there we have an editorial team of four with one female reporter – Miranda Ward.
You’ll have seen her byline on four articles today alone.
Cheers,
Alex – editor, Mumbrella
Nancy #35, so the invite was designed by a ‘gentle female designer’ briefed to ‘celebrate the feminine with feminist’? Well that’s cleared it up then.
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A lot of these comments criticising Mumbrella for revealing this are in a suspiciously similar style. Mumbrella – IP check please?
And as to claims its out of context. Just look at the original columns. They’re just as offensive and horrible when you read the whole thing. Not funny either.
B&t owner Investor Nancy’s claim that the columns are ten years old doesn’t stack up .either. Theres no date on the coldumns. But He talks about post GFC stuff, so a lot more recent I reckon.
Sorry for typos – small screen.
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Answering comment number 32, defending it as writing to a brief for a specific audience: That’s also how John defended his defamation of the Hillsborough victims when he was on FHM:
The Guardian:
http://www.theguardian.com/med.....ublishing1
“The article has provoked outrage from the football club and its supporters after it likened crushed fans to shoppers battling to get into end of year sales, and called victims of the crush lying on the pitch as “lazy”.
“One picture shows the steel mesh at the front of the terrace with many fans, mainly youngsters, being crushed besides the caption: “Shoppers waited for the doors to open for the end-of-year sale.” Another shows fans in the upper tier trying to lift fans from below to safety with the caption: “Get us a beer while you’re there.”
“On behalf of FHM Australia, I would like to formally and publicly apologise for the article printed in our November 2002 issue,” said John Bastick, editor of the Australian FHM in a statement today.
” In essence, our mandate at FHM is not to cast opinion or promote discussion but to simply entertain our readers.”
It doesn’t stop it being offensive to other audiences though.
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Taken out of context these do seem harsh, but reading Mr.Bastick’s articles seems to suggest the male has the piss taken out of him more. Aren’t we taking satire a little too seriously? Satire isn’t always funny to everyone if we remember the recent Paris incidents. Regarding the Hillsborough situation above, I worked at the same company as John during this time and remember he did not write these captions, but returned from his honeymoon to put out the fire, if my memory serves correctly.
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Very petty Mumbo. Disappointed
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Worker Bee has a very good memory for who wrote a caption a decade ago. Just a distant colleague were you?
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I have seen John a few times at media gatherings and, yes, unsurprisingly, Hillsborough has come up. Anything wrong with someone clarifying facts? Knowing John has worked for Men’s Health, could “Men’s Unhealth” be more than a “distant colleague”?
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The Misfits should be given some slack, it’s obvious who wears the trousers.
On a serious note, “Women in Media” ??? WTF, this is just a grab at some market share, B&T was always ran by strong minded women, and now it is in it’s end stage, and they are trying their hardest to try and grab some dollars to keep it afloat.
I predict within 2 years it will go by the wayside, unless they flip the model, and remove the wood.
Print Paradigm people trying to move into Online, and now “awards”, sounds like 1995 Reed types.
Mumbrealla has show what can happen if you have passion, smarts, and take action….
B&T has shown what can happen if you let old skool continue as “work as normal”.
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hopefully a few from the misfits have managed to score tickets to the Industry awards hosted tonight by the 360 Mumbrella team
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