Aussie film industry fails in romance
To celebrate Valentine’s Day, DVD rental company Quickflix has published its list of Australia’s favourite romance films, in which Muriel’s Wedding is the highest ranked local title, sitting in the 108th position.
“Perhaps [the fact that the favourite Australian romance is a film from 1994] is evidence that Australian audiences are craving more romantic fare in local films. The Australian film industry no longer needs to prove it can produce world-class drama, but it might be time for us to show off our sincere, comic, and romantic side once again,” Quickflix online editor and film critic Simon Miraudo told Encore.
“Although recent pictures like Samson & Delilah, Somersault and Unfinished Sky are all popular, our members seem to have a soft spot for the lighthearted romances of the 1990s,” added Miraudo.
If anyone is looking for a romcom, I have a terrific script available. But I would like to warn any potential Australian producers: no one takes drugs, there are no killings, incest is not a plot point, none of the characters suffers from an incurable disease and the film, unfortunately, has a happy ending.
Are there any unresolved father/son issues?
Carl- go to the back of the class and put your thinking cap on..how dare you offer up something so…so common. I suggest you inject some unresolved family issue, quirky characters mixed in with a few junkies straight out of NIDA and we might..maybe..probably won’t..but will pretend to push it onto the handful of Producers in OZ who can get anything done. Or you could submit it to the comedy department at the ABC and promise to make Marieke Hardy’s coffee…that might help
In the interests of bringing my screenplay up to Australian industry standard, I will consider these suggestions seriously. I have been thinking about a serial killer element, but the father/son unresolved issues concept has given me more food for thought. Maybe father and son serial killers arrive on the scene just as the young lovers get together. They kill the girl and torture the boy before arguing about their unresolved issues and killing each other with chainsaws. The boy, now bitter, twisted and a paraplegic, becomes a drug addict before blowing himself up in a crowded shopping centre.
Thanks, guys, I think this could be a goer…
It needs to be shot in the suburbs, in generic houses and shopping centres. Don’t you dare make Sydney or Melbourne look glamorous!
You’re still not thinking hard enough…you need a historical setting, hopefully a victory at war, that was actually a shocking bloodbath but now it can be seen as a heroic triumph..kind of.. we killed a lot of them and they only got a few of us.. and potentially a criminal who’s a sociopath but he needs to be framed in a heroic light while he drifts through the rights of passage. Hopefully you’re a comedian who has a radio show/TV show/ Broadsheet gig and a shit hot PR machine so you can basically write on a dunnie roll, your obvious wit and genius being scooped up and produced as you walk from each new opening of something fantastic to something even more fantastic…and as you plug your script/movie/tv show you need to do it in a manner that suggests that the universe has barely managed to exist until this revealing narrative of yours came to light
I’d also appreciate the script more if you set it all on a farm..doesn’t matter if your only experience of anything remotely rural was from watching Macca’s-Daughters or comfy sojourns to your second home in some idyllic setting in the wine country, recently featured in “Country Style”..as long as you trust and know that all the characters have something dark and brooding that the audience could never have experienced and when this secret is finally revealed, having dangled like a carrot for 120 minutes..Cinema ushers will have to dial 000 to have your fingers wrenched from your cinema pew…such was the revelation and ensuing shock. It would also help if every actor was directed in a highly sincere manner..if this isn’t possible..it might fall on its ass.
Thanks for all your help, guys. I will incorporate all of these elements, although I’m now thinking I should bring in a few darker elements to balance it out. It still feels a little too light and fluffy to attract funding.
Carl-I’m sorry to inform you but we don’t fund that incorporated, dark, well balanced light and fluffy stuff. For what we do fund you’ll have to speak to “my mate” who’s just got something up…tried his hand at acting, that didn’t cut it, so now he’s behind the camera…where he truly belongs.
Too late Carl. You just described m work-in-progress. Just swap the crowded shopping centre with the Australian Stock Exchange. (Can’t write a film in 2011 without referencing the GFC.)
Maybe we should collaborate…
Hey Dolly, I like your suggestions for Carl’s screenplay. The only thing missing is a dancing bear. Probably a left-handed bear with a speech impediment. It’s bound to please the investors and find its target audience in Mongolia. Who knows, maybe the people who work on the film might even get paid… well… maybe not the writer.
Oscar The Grouch