Becoming a mother in PR land is like getting a face tattoo
I want to have children, but will it set my career back? This is the question Lisa Portolan says she (and other colleagues and friends) grappled with as she considered stepping back from the PR world to become a mother.
In her memoir ‘Eat, Pray, Love’, Elizabeth Gilbert’s friend tells her, “Having a baby is like getting a tattoo on your face. You really need to be certain it’s what you want before you commit”. Most parents would agree with this, but, realistically, only realise it after the birth of a child. Before that, parenthood is imagined but unknown. At least, that was my experience.
I was concerned about the impact on my career. I’d spent close to ten years working in government communications and had been a departmental director for some time, primed for my next step as a branch head. What would six months off look like? Would I be overlooked for promotions if I returned as a part-time staff member? Would I even want to go back?
My partner, conversely, wasn’t riddled with such questions. He was looking at a relatively uncomplicated two weeks of paternity leave and a full return to work.
The reality for me, and most women in the workforce facing a career break, is quite different. Yes, we’ve come a long way from an equal rights and representation perspective: Nearly a third (29.7%) of directors in ASX200 businesses are women. Women comprised nearly half (45.4%) of new appointments to ASX200 boards in 2018. Women constitute 37% of all full-time employees and 68.5% of all part-time employees.
There is a still a long way to go, however. The gender pay gap stands at around 14%, and women hold only 13.7% of chair positions, and represent 17.1% of CEOs.
However we look at it, there is a biological truth: women have to take time out of the workforce to bear children cannot be avoided, and nor should it. We carry our children for nine months, give birth, and are intrinsically linked to them.
It really is a lot like getting a face tattoo.
And many colleagues and friends feel the same. The crux of it: I want to have children, but will this set my career back?
The answers are never clear-cut and aren’t the same for everyone. I returned to my career in government after I had a daughter – but I had changed irrevocably. I surprised myself by becoming more of a risk-taker. Having a tiny person in my care inspired me to lead by example. I needed to be brave and follow my dreams.
I joined N2N Communications as a group account director in November 2017 and moved back to Sydney. My daughter was two at the time.
There is so much commentary about how it’s utterly impossible to balance being a mother with the world of PR, or life as a consultant. The long hours and the rigour required seemed at odds with motherhood. But I didn’t find that to be the case. Working with clients to solve complex issues energised me. Working in a dynamic and fearless agency inspired me.
I’m still at N2N Communications and have led some of the most exciting and issues-rich campaigns. Since my move to Sydney, I’ve released my second novel, Happy As, and continued my PhD at Western Sydney University. And I’m working alongside some of the most inspirational parents I know – including our CEO, Vanessa Liell, and MD, Skye Lambley. N2N Communications is part Publicis Groupe, which recently rolled out an industry-leading parental leave policy – essential to retaining women and encouraging career longevity.
As a parent, there are many voices telling you how things should be. Including the impact motherhood will have on your career, particularly in a fast-paced arena like PR. But cutting through are other voices, telling you to be communications trail-blazers and rule-breakers. This is an industry that celebrates ‘disrupters’ – or so we tell ourselves and our clients.
What if we started acting in line with that?
What if we empowered women to write their own narrative, and break social norms?
Encouraging more women, and parents generally, to write their own story should be an industry norm.
We need to allow individuals to carve out a career which suits them (and doesn’t necessarily have a vertical direction).
And we need to acknowledge that women having children is part of the workplace fabric.
Lisa Portolan is a group account director at N2N Communications
nice article Lisa!
I do not get why PR people seem to think they are the ONLY ones inflicted with all these issues and problems …
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Perfectly sums it up! ??
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I feel like you and I read two separate opinion pieces. There are a lot of good points raised in this piece from a PR perspective and I am sure professionals from other backgrounds will have other points to raise from their experience.
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Oh boo hoo, as if PR isn’t almost entirely populated by women. Everyone who has a family has to suffer their way through it. You’re a Director why are you whingeing?
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Thank you for the article Lisa! It goes to show as well how a lot of our fears as women come from society placing limiting beliefs on us, what we ‘can’ and ‘can’t do’, particularly if we have children. Of course parenthood is also one of the greatest steps into the unknown, and we don’t really understand how it will change us until the time comes.
But we also have to ask ourselves if what we say is really true or if we are just assuming they are true. You have shown you are not only working in a senior role, but have also managed to complete a pHD and write a book with *gasp* – children! Unbelievable! haha
I myself am about to start my Masters in Health Promotion, but have also had the thought of ‘wait – I might want to have children soon, should I do this degree first or have a child first, or do this first’ – arrgh! Then I remind myself not many men likely think this way, and if my intuition is calling me to do this Masters program and then go foe a role promoting health, I will go for it and not hold myself back wondering about a problem I don’t actually have yet.
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Wow. Really, “Max”? You needed to write that?
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This article was actually better than I expected.
“The crux of it: I want to have children, but will this set my career back?”
Seems pretty simple. If you want to ‘step back’, then yeah it will. If you just want to have a kid, then no it won’t.
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I don’t understand why you would want to have a kid now. It will only ever have “gig” jobs, have massive HECS debt, won’t ever be able to afford its’ own home, and will find itself living in a destroyed ecosystem. Really, women have to take a long hard look at the misogynist social dictates that *order* them to make babies (for the economy, religion and army). I would personally like to see a dispassionate list of actual *real* reasons to have a “kid”. And, “looking after you” in your old age, or anything personal-fear related is not one of them. Companionship is also a selfish reason, as is having a “fashion accessory” or plaything/toy to compare with your girlfriends. And ignore your mothers: they are just jealous that they were tricked into suffering and don’t see why you shouldn’t suffer just as they were forced to by the patriarchy. It’s your body and your decision; why can’t a woman devote all her time to her career? (without the encumberance of a brat)
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nice article Lisa!
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