Guy Gadney versus the volcano part 3: If in doubt, set up a London office
In the (we think) final episode of his volcano-driven adventures in Europe, The Project Factory’s Guy Gadney launches a UK office
I am so used to staying in hotels that I nearly stole the bathmat from my mum’s apartment this morning.
Guy Gadney's iPad crosses the Channel
Yesterday we had crossed under the channel tunnel in the awesome car-train. It is awesome not only as a feat of engineering, but also because it feels like you are driving into the belly of a riot van. The outside looks like sheet steel and the windows are reinforced and let in light with the reluctance of a nightclub bouncer.
We have been met at Calais by a driver from my brother-in-law’s movie company. He drives like he’s been watching Jason Statham movies and actually managed to kick up dust reversing up the M25 to get to an exit he missed.
We stop at a café. The whole experience is unbelievably crap. The first thing you see when you walk through the semi-functioning sliding doors is an orange cone in the middle of the entrance warning that a tile is broken. The men’s toilets are broken.
But worst of all, Wimpy still exists. The company that pioneered the square hamburger in the eighties has survived and rebranded. And what a rebrand! I would love to have been part of the brief to the agency. I imagine it went something like this: “Hi. We are a hamburger chain that has somehow managed to bump along the bottom of the fast-food chain for years without actually going bust. We have a few motorway outlets where we can afford the cheap rent. We do not know whether we will be around next year, and we want all this reflected in our new brand design please.”
Wimpy: Before
Wimpy: After
The logo has shrunk in between the burger buns, leaving the sort of empty space that mirrors the queues for their food. It really looks like someone has left a burger in an air-conditioned room for 15 years, and it has woken up as a logo.
After inhaling a toasted panini that looks like roadkill, Jason Statham takes off again and an hour later we arrive in London. The iPads are surgically removed from the kids and we look at the progress of the volcano cloud which is still spitting out from Iceland. The unpronounceable name of the volcano is Eyjafjallajokull which I have anglicized as i-ya-faaka-y’all.
We check the status of flights on the Qantas website, and it is now that I get the news that I did not want. Thirty six hours before QF31 leaves London for Sydney, it has been cancelled.
I call Qantas to rebook, and have two options: Upgrade to a one way business class for $8,300 which leaves on 27th April, or hang tight until the first available flight on 1st May. 1st May!
This is not a hard economic decision, but I am gutted to remain as a Space Bar Dad via Skype for the next ten days.
And thus the next week or so will witness the birth of The Project Factory’s London office. Today we have opened up channels into two agencies, two television channels and have been asked to submit pitches to two European broadcasters for transmedia shows. It’s a new dawn and a new day.
As I said goodnight to my 6-year nephew last night, he playfully punched me in the chest like an Italian Boss and, a propos of nothing, said: “I got two words to say to you. Don’t give up the dream, buddy.”
Airspace Rebooted from ItoWorld on Vimeo.
Jago, the next ten days will be for you.
- G
uy Gadney is a director of The Project Factory and president of the Australian Interactive Media Industry Association. You can reveal the first instalment of his adventure, escaping from MIPTV in Cannes here. And the second part, in which his iPad became possibly the world’s most travelled, here
Tim Burrowes founded Mumbrella in 2008. He worked on Mumbrella until 2021. At various points he was editor, content director and editor-at-large.
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This has been a most entertaining series.
While of course I wish Guy a safe return home to his family, I also can’t help hoping he remains in iterant limbo forever, writing increasingly bizarre gonzo-esque musings on his travels for my edification and delight.
There must be some telly people with budget to squander (saved from not paying for decent writers on Underbelly, for example) who could finance a reality show based on Guy’s trip back to Oz via land and sea, setting up a new branch of the Project Factory in every country along the way…?
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This series is the best thing I’ve read all week.
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Quick fix required Tim – the Project Factory link is currently aimed at the theporjectfactory!
Someones gotta say somethin 🙂
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heehee I hope we hear more expat musings from australia’s most travelled ipad
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Thanks for pointing that out, Gary. Your commitment to Mumbrella’s high standards does you credit.
I just want to know what Guy’s sister does – and who is his brother-in-law? Private Jets, drivers, ipads for the kids. How does Guy travel around Oz? What happens when his sister comes to stay? Can she rough it?
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Thanks for all the comments. And thanks to fabulous Suzelle at Flight Centre King Street, my flight leaves London tomorrow and arrives just in time to get to Spandau Ballet.
Gold…
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