How to say sorry the right way in a crisis
Communications expert Peter Wilkinson yesterday wrote an opinion piece for Mumbrella on Optus and how it handled a fine from the ACCC for selling products to vulnerable people. That piece included inaccuracies that Wilkinson later corrected in a clarification. Today, Wilkinson reflects on what an effective apology looks and feels like.
It’s worth discussing what makes a good written apology.
We are in difficult times, with an increasingly distrustful public, cynical and clickbait-driven media, and toxic social media.
Peter Wilkinson
Here are, for me, some ‘apology’ rules, and remember, the aim is to become trusted by the target audience:
First, don’t use corporate speak. For instance, “I want to sincerely apologise to the customers who were affected by this misconduct. The way these customers were treated was simply not acceptable. It should never have happened.
It’s OK, but does it pass the pub test? I don’t think so.
Try this:
“I am disgusted by the way our customers were treated. It is the opposite of everything I stand for. And I won’t. It should never have happened, and it won’t again on my watch.”
Better. But on its own, not enough.
Here is an apology that’s beginning to sound real.
Second, we must demonstrate in a way that will gain trust that what happened will not happen again. Again, don’t use predictable corporate speak. For instance, “We have already made changes. And there is more to do.”
Not convincing to me.
Try this:
“So far, our team has spoken to 547 people who say they were treated poorly. We are doing our level best to right the wrongs with each of them. We will keep you posted on the first Friday of every month for the rest of 2025 on our progress with fixing their grievances.”
Now our apology is beginning to sound real.
There are three steps to the beginning of a meaningful and convincing apology:
- Apologise. There are many better ways of conveying sorrow without the hackneyed ‘Sorry’ or ‘I apologise’. So, not the apology that CEOs, some politicians, and sports stars trot out, which sounds bog-standard (I was never convinced that Dutton’s apologies in the election campaign reflected his deeply held views). The apology is best written/spoken in the vernacular that is deeply personal and genuine (and it must be genuine). Emotion/vulnerability matters. Here’s an example.
- A commitment to reform, that’s measurable. And measured.
- Publish what’s measured as a way of regaining trust. Remember, a successful apology is not the end game. Being trusted is what we are working towards.
The pathway to regaining trust is a long one. Roy Morgan believes, here, that the first 9 months are critical in reputation repair, and it can take up to five years to regain trust. That long haul is also my experience when we are trying to regain the trust of mum and dad consumers.
Writing that apology is a craft. There are two approaches. One, the usual in big organisations, is for a comms person to draft an apology, advising what the CEO should say, which the CEO approves, substantially without changes. The other is to talk to the CEO, have a deep dive into his/her intimately held convictions, pick up his/her lingo, and work with it. It doesn’t take long, but ideally it’s raw and real.
If you have to use option one, try this to avoid corporate speak: Gerald Stone, the founding EP of 60 Minutes, once advised me, when I was struggling with a script along these lines, “Go down to the pub and talk to someone about the story. Once you have done that, go back to the hotel and write what you said. That will be how we will communicate your story. That is how you write so that your average mum and dad will listen.”
It was a great lesson on being unstuffy (un-corporate), and it has guided me on communicating in a way that is real.
