A TV for ants? When cookies collide with muddled funnel thinking

Seems like the car dealers are learning. They used to do the sales pitch for that rust proofing and colour protectant rubbish seconds after you signed the contract, ie within the cooling off period. It was always great fun to see the “consultant” backpedal when I’d say “If the car goes rusty that quickly I don’t want it, I think I’ll cancel the contract”.

Hi Tim,

I’m in complete empathy with your above sentiments – plus personal experience re the car purchase.

August 2020, I purchased a new Honda from a lower north shore Sydney dealer, from whom both my wife and I had previously purchased in the ‘90s. (Same family dealership name at purchase time but not long thereafter changed name to something more nebulous.)

Experienced the similar upsell to yourself (to stop your duco fading; underbody rusting, etc) immediately after signing purchase contract, having made it quite clear that the only $s I was interested in hearing were exactly how many they wanted me to pay on top of trading my decade-old vehicle – short conversation, move on. On delivery, they transferred my very-good-condition, personalised rego plates (a birthday gift from my wife 40+ years earlier, when it needed just a single payment, no ongoing annual surcharge). Next day, seeing car in full sunlight I noticed that the rear plate was mounted off the horizontal and, on removing the screws, found they had drilled 2 totally unnecessary additional holes in the plates to remount them – and that they weren’t aligned horizontally!

From several successful prior experiences (insurance companies, etc) I googled CEO of company and discovered from his Linkedin profile, this gentleman of mid-east name origins lauded himself as a north-American experienced devotee to CRM. So emailed him, as obviously he’d wish to know of this lapse in his favourite business skill. 2 days later, had a phone call from the salesman who had been my contact from initial phone call through delivery. (Never any acknowledgement from the king of CRM.) In only a slightly apologetic tone, the salesman explained away the lapse by the fact it was “just a yardie” who had swapped my plates and that he would be spoken to. Said at first service they would see what they could do to fix. I said there was no solution to be considered or implemented, which included drilling any more holes. So nothing ever done. (The experience did give me some small appreciation of why communities are incredibly sceptical of police investigating their own apparent shortcomings.)

A month and a half ago, after seeing emails on the release of a new model a step up from mine, I received a phone call from a pleasant-sounding guy at the dealership, who was very interested in convincing me to come test-drive this new model. When I countered it was less than 3 years old, he said “2019 model”: had he not done his homework before calling OR have I just had a hint that my August 2020 purchase was originally 2019 compliance-plated?? Also he added there was a great market for low kms 2nd-hand vehicles. After all my excuses were rebuffed, I agreed to go to the showroom at an appointed time the following Saturday afternoon (as there was a hybrid version I had a slight interest in taking for a test drive).

On arriving at showroom (45 minute drive in each direction plus showroom and testdrive, say, 3 hours of my time), asked for guy by name. He came from behind a counter to meet me and gave a very cursory wave around the showroom, resulting in my saying I was really only invested in having a look/drive of this new model, hybrid version. So he sweeps me towards a table/chair station central in the showroom, to introduce me to this 30/40-something lady who will assist me, adding that she was a “trainee salesperson”. Was this to excuse any shortfalls? Minimise her self-confidence? Or let me know clearly my status in his showroom? Probably all 3. (Her status was borne out by the fact that the business card she gave me had another’s details carefully whited-out and her name and mobile details very, very neatly inserted by hand in fine blue ink. What company, where the CEO bleeds CRM, starts a new face-to-face sales employee without a custom business card, prior to stepping onto the sales floor??)

Contrary to he superior’s impression, the lady was very well informed re the features of the vehicle, both at the desk and from the passenger seat during the 15-minute test-drive. Returning to the desk, she asked if I had the key to my Honda. I responded I had but I wasn’t at a point where I was looking for someone to drive my vehicle for a firm trade-in valuation but, on the basis they knew the vehicle’s history from new (scheduled services logged in their company computer), I was looking at a round-arm figure of how many $s they would be looking at to swap my car for the model we’d just driven. She said she just wanted to look at the odometer and the interior so I gave her the key. (She had told me just prior that there was a 6-month wait till delivery – the initial guy, on the phone, having said they were keen to interact with existing owners “because now we have CARS!”. Then she’d added they could give a trade-in indication now but that it would be reassessed closer to a delivery date.)

On her return to the desk, she led-in with “if I give you a really good trade-in price now, will you sign an order today?”. I answered “No” and repeated what she’d recently told me re 6-month wait and non-firm price. She looked somewhat taken aback and I asked was there anything I could take away re the vehicle of interest, or did I need to look online for all reference? She produced an A4 colour laser print showing the 6 current Honda models with list price for each variant. I asked was she going to email or text (from details on test-drive authority form) on the approximate price after trade-in for model of interest? A slight nod, which was the last communication I received – over a month ago. Will I ever contemplate a vehicle purchase from this dealership again? Only if they make an appointment to deliver a test-drive vehicle to my home and I have the enjoyment of putting them through numerous hoops. In a word: NO!

Thanks Tim, enjoyed your comments as always,

Peter Middleton