An answer for Adam: how can we make social media nice?
In a feature that first appeared in Encore, Adam Ferrier asks what can be done about the dark side of social media.
I hate social media. Most of the heavy weight proponents of social media do nothing but reinforce that those who love it are self-obsessed, angry, humourless and desperately looking for friends, while making enemies. Social media creates (and fosters) a culture of bullying.
Social media is a like a big brother patrolling the streets, and making sure no one steps out of line. Many studies show the more time people spend on social media vs. ‘fleshy’ interactions the unhappier and socially disconnected they become. Further, it promotes narcissism and personal image curation. In short I (and others) think social media is largely anti-social media. However, supporters of social media will speak to the fact that it gives the powerless a voice. Anyone can start a blog. Anyone can comment anonymously. And when we see mass injustice, social media can galvanise a crowd and create genuine social change.
Perhaps this week’s question is overly simplistic, but I’ll ask it anyway. What should be done to make social media nicer?
Adam Ferrier is a consumer psychologist and the founder of Naked Communications.
This first appeared in the weekly edition of Encore available for iPad and Android tablets. Visit encore.com.au for a preview of the app or click below to download.
“What should be done to make social media nicer?”
Humanity has a dark side that manifests from individuals via social media.
I don’t see anything wrong with that – rather the boil was lanced than left to fester. Suppressing opinions leads to all sorts of explosive manifestations.
TL;DR – Nothing. Deal with it.
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Social media merely confirms that my friends are all boring bastards with ugly, snotty kids…
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In my experience narcissistic behaviour occurs more when people have a public forum to show off. Given the stage bullies will always shout the loudest.
In my class room people motivated by narcissism shouted out hurtful comments to someone whenever the class was quiet because they knew they had a captive audience. I think social media feeds have now expanded the opportunity for this behaviour due to their public & unfiltered nature, especially in younger audiences.
Hopefully as the options to tailor social feeds are adopted (hiding peoples posts etc) younger generations will handle bullies & narcissism the old fashioned way, just ignore it.
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I’d be inclined to only accept registered users as comments so you cut out anon. comments.
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It’ll never happen… but getting rid of anonymity and false accounts would go a LONG way.
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An interesting question.
I’d suggest that a lot of the nicety in social media is simply just not out there in the public domain.
Its there ‘hideen in plain view’ and conducted amongst and between friends, and communities but instead of out there for all, it’s hidden behind grouped discussions, on closed networks – and away from the negative BS that plays itself out in comments threads and other publicly accessible spaces…
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Easy. Make humanity nicer.
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Seems an odd question from a behavioural psychologist – wouldn’t this be akin to seeing a reflection in the mirror you don’t like and consequently trying to change the mirror?
is social media the cause of narcissism? i would say that’s human nature. is social media the cause of nastiness, bullying, and anti-social behaviour? surely that’s just fear and ignorance, as it always has been. (aka human nature)
isn’t social media just a conduit – therefore devoid of positive or negative attributes completely?
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Make the world a fairer place for all.
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for this reason social has jumped the shark
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Incentivise being nice instead of punishing and drawing attention to dickheads.
There we go, that wasn’t hard, was it? Where’s my cheque?
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One of the problems with social media is that it provides a platform for attention seekers to skate across the surface of deep issues and look as if they are making a contribution.
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1 – autamated spellcheck rejects bad spelling and grammar;
2 – all posts are read out – loud! – to the poster by auto-voice (by male & female voices, like on Mediawatch) before posting;
3 – nasty posts are quickly deleted by Big Brother
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Not all of it is tedious. For sure, Fakebook is now so depressing and overconstructed. But twitter is still a lot of fun and a good forum (although I have to watch that I don’t just follow people who have the same beliefs as me). Instagram is great if you stay focused on your photography not your selfies.
Every new media has been accused of encouraging narcism and dumbing-down of the populace (it happened with newspapers in the 19th century, TV and glossies in the 20th century and now, surprise surprise, social media. Is it a case of getting old? Adam?
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Couldn’t watch half the shows on TV without Twitter.
Much more entertaining than the crap the networks serve up…
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‘What should be done to make social media nicer?’
Easy answer: disengage from social media spend time with friends face-to-face.
Job done. Next.
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+1, Al
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What should be done to make social media nicer?
Sandwiches.
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Pony rides for everyone.
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educating humans beings on universal act of kindness. Social media is a mere reflection of that which exists already and has done so for centuries, the only difference is that now we get to see aggregated ugliness of the human condition faster, bigger, louder at scale.
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Get involved in the community you are communicating with beyond just social. Get involved in social communities such as forums and if they have meet-ups, show up to them and give a face and a personality to the brand beyond what is seen on the computer screen.
I’ve found the most influential changes occur when you are part of the community both online and in real life. It creates a connection that can’t be achieved through purely operating online.
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The problem is that social media doesn’t just break the confines of time and geography, but also allows people to take on different personalities. In the flesh I am the same person, even if I may behave differently in varying situations. But on the www we can give ourselves multiple identities – and that’s where social media can become not such a nice place.
By having the same unique identity that we have in the flesh, people will congregate in their respective corners of social media.
I can’t say that bars aren’t nice places. But I know some bars are certainly not nice places – for me. But those are nice places for others, who don’t like the bars I like…
I’m certain that if we all had just one personal identity on the www then we’d have a frame of reference to determine who we interact with. I could avoid those who I don’t like, while those who don’t like/appreciate my behaviour can avoid me – irrespective of which medium on the www.
I should be the same identity on mUmBRELLA, as I am on Twitter, as I am on Facebook, as I am on the KLR650 rider forum, as I am on email, as I am on Skype. Because I am Jörn Sanda in the bar, in the grocery store, at work, on the beach, in the library, at the dinner party, and where I to frequent establishments which my mum wouldn’t be all to proud of.
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Thanks everyone for the insights – sincerely appreciated. However, I disagree (strongly) with those who just say social media mirrors society. There is something about the medium of social media that allows people to act a) Anonymously (or without consequence), and b) have a greater impact via being sensational or shocking. These two technological changes in how we normally communicate encourage, in my opinion, harmful and anti-social behaviours.
More opinions appreciated.
As for Groucho – skimming over the top of many issues, and going deeply into a few is a strength of social media I love (as Steven Fry said Twitter is like watching the leaves fall, You can appreciate all of the little leaves falling, and occasionally pick one up and really examine it.
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I’d be interested in some of the heavyweight social media experts weighing in?
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In another sense, social media is showing all of us the dark side (shadow) of our collective nature which, as Jung said, must be acknowledged as a part of our nature before we can grow psychologically. Granted that this concept was about an individual’s growth to self actualisation but I suspect that the same formula could apply collectively as well. Therefore I view it as a necessary part of our collective maturation.
However, I certainly do not like or appreciate the negativity in all its forms that is present there, no matter how much I may try to rationalise it but still maintain that it has an important place in our society.
Finally, I find it a necessary antidote to what I see as an extremely negative media in this country as it gives me access to people of similar political, social and ethical interests, something which I have found great difficulty to find in the ‘real’ world.
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Hi Adam, haven’t you therefore already answered your own question? If the problem with social media is it is a ) anonymous and b) amplificatory (not sure that’s a word but whatever), then the way to make it nicer is to remove the anonymity and restrict the power to amplify messages. However, neither of those things is actually making social media nicer – just changing the definition of it.
I come from a camp that argues that censorship (amongst adults) is never a solution – discourse is. If you don’t like what someone says on social media (anonymously and without consequence), then you have the right to say the exact opposite (anonymously and without consequence). Those are powerful incentives.
Sounds like you’re proposing a governing body of some kind to enact laws to apply to the mostly lawless world of social media. OK, fine, but let me ask you this – in your work with prison inmates, did you find the consequences to crimes to be an effective deterrent?
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“heavyweight social media experts”
that’s a larf.
removing anonymity is the no-brainer solution to anti-social media
@AI you are wrong.
Removing anonymity changes anti-social media to social media. Pseudonyms are not members of society.
And your point about discourse only holds if someone like me has the time and inclination to respond to utter bullshit.
If we have a world full of anonymous and inconsequential comments countered by more anonymous and inconsequential comments, where does that leave us??
uninformed and irritated
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C’mon Adam. No one wants to admit Milgram applies to themselves. You well know the deep dark recesses of the human mind have not been fully mapped.
Are we not experiencing a rewiring of our cognitive and behavioural systems? Look at a nine year old absorbing multiple streams of input, regardless of how shallow this input might be. Then look at that same nine year old who needs to be taught the correct manner of eye contact and other physical social interactions at school – things we used to learn intuitively. Surely value judgments are going to be skewed as a by-product of this.
How are you ever going to govern this; whether with legislation or whatever? Filter a keyword and another takes its meaning and its place.
Aren’t we just experiencing the downside to this quantum leap in enabling technology?
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Adam, me thinks you may have sparked one of the most considered debates on mUmBRELLA. Is this enough cause to determine an appropriate pub with the right room for this to be discussed over a beverage? Our editor on this forum, Tim, could have someone write up the discussion – it may make some excellent reading, “heavyweights” or not.
May even get some of the social media brands to join in…
I nominate the Harts Pub in the Rocks. Adam, do you want to call the time and day?
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One example where discussions are thoughtful, constructive and genuinely funny are the forums (remember those?).
It may be the demographic (although there are loads of younger people using them) but having to log in as a pseudonym and having a system where people can report comments for being off topic, there are moderators that can have users warned / banned for a whole range of things, bullying, spruiking or just being a dick makes these forums a valuable resource of information (that gives great results on google searches) rather than a slinging match.
In fact simply having to log in to comment would not only give a website such as mumbrella or the other one an instant subscription list (that has monetary benefits), it would stop people to think twice – do I really need to bully this bloke I worked with ten years ago because I’m a sad fuck sitting at home and he’s now a cd, or should I go play World of Warcraft. Again.
I can’t see why websites aren’t taking the initiative to get subscribers through the lure of the comment section, they’re losing money and respect. And I agree about social media – it’s narcissistic, yet for some reason the old forums and chat rooms never were.
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Social media intranets are a lot nicer than public social media. The reason is that people have some skin in the game. Users actually know or people they are talking to or know that they have some power to determine their future standing in the organization one way or another. Trolling therefore entails a loss of face or a loss of professionalism.
The answer as to how to make social media nicer? Spread real life engagement and interdependence.
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To those advocating the removal of anonymity from web, simple question:
How?
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Ex-ex-reader – I suppose it requires an ultimate authority. Facebook is trying, given that more and more sites are now allowing log-ins through Facebook – and FB seems to have done a fairly good job on policing identities to be true to the person. The problem with that is that Facebook is a commercial entity, and I’m sure many have serious reservations about lodging their identity with a listed company.
Maybe this is where the UN could do some good? Set up the appropriate structures for UNAUIIDO (United Nations Authority for Unique Internet Identity Organization). Maybe Mr Turnbull could have a chat to Mr Quinlan, in consultation with Ms Bishop?
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Thanks for the thoughts. Personally I like the ideas of forums, and message boards. I also like the idea of valuing non-anonomous comments more than anon. therefore people who have sites should encourage people to register (realising anonimity is a fluid concept and not an either or situation).
@Jorn I think it’s an excellent idea – I’m sure Tim would encourage it if you wanted to create a group to talk about this and other such related issues – unfortunately I wont be able to commit to joining.
@al and neil schofield I agree with the sentiment of neil and the tone of Al. I’m a fan of censorship – Jung may be right but a little suppression of the dark side is a natural consequence of maturity / civility. However, neil I don’t know why you need to be so aggressive in your tone?
Love, Peace and Antagonism,
Adam
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Hey. I used to be a “heavyweight” – until we started doing other things and the wheels fell off.
One thing Professionals have going for them is the disconnect. It isn’t MY stuff, it’s the client’s. It’s not MY mum wearing army boots…
Where social media bites is the times is it taken seriously. And that is often by those least equpped to deal with it.
Here’s an example: I listened to a gentleman explain how he could not ignore someone giving him the finger. He just couldn’t. “Walk away” I suggest. He gets aggressive, like I am calling him a wimp or worse. If someone gives him the finger he HAS to go and punch them. See? HAS TO. Don’t I GET IT!?!
Of course the guy was a jerk. Uneducated and culturally challenged.
But there’s the point… he had so little going for him in many ways, any attack on his “soverignity of masculinity” had to be violently repelled. He had so little importance that he had to continually defend it.
My expression “when you’re the real thing you don’t have to bullshit anymore” applies here.
Those comfortable and confident in themselves and their place in Society need not be troubled by the infantile rants of the few. Or even the many.
when the masses are baying at the moon, those beachside houses and foreign sports cars have nice thick walls – insulation enough for anyone lucky enough to be inside.
In short, the answer to social media is to ignore it.
Another of my sayings – “treat it like a buffet lunch, you can take what you want and ignore the rest, leave it for others” No need to throw anchovies on the floor just because I don’t like them. Leave them and pass along. Like the books in the library – not to yur taste? Fergeddit-about-it.
If one is the smartest person in the room (or world) the downside is having to deal with so many who are more stupid than one.
Everytime one sees a stupid or inept comment on SM, one can safely feel smugly superior. And isn’t that what it’s all about?
One is sure it is.
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If you remember the late ’90’s and the emergence of bulletin boards/forums, it was similar in a way – however, “trolling” was a bit more interesting.
Starting a thread titled “I’m Leaving!” on a camera enthusiast or trainspotting forum would elicit numerous heartfelt responses. Of course, when you clarified that you were leaving simply to grab some milk from the shop and would be back in 10 minutes, 20 pages of outrage and hilarity ensued. No nastiness, just a bit of fun. That’s trolling.
Kids spewing hate on Facebook are not trolls, they’re arseholes. And with most people on social media nowadays, the arsehole element now has an equal voice.
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Some interesting thoughts on the topic – but I think @reevesy (one of your earlier contributors) was very close to the mark in suggesting that social media isn’t necessarily all bad – with a lot of the pleasant and “real” stuff hidden in plain view.
Your suggestion that its purely about the self-obsessed, humorless bullies is like suggesting that all footballers are the high-flying full-forward – or that all politicians are … wait that might be true. I think its just about what attracts the most buzz, rather than how the majority of us use social media.
Mainstream media regularly create a buzz about the negative aspects of social media, which I think will always be unavoidable, but is it really that bad! I don’t think it is, but if they were to write stories about the majority of it they wouldn’t attract clicks or readership.
Sports fans tweeting “Yay team!”, my mother posting a cake recipe, our receptionist Instagramming her hundredth selfie, my best friend sharing snaps of a holiday skiing trip or my boss commenting on how the latest election might impact our widget industry is anything but sexy – but I do believe they’re indicative of how the majority of us use social media.
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How to make social media nicer?
*hide* *delete* *ban*
Moderated.
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