Dr Mumbo

Dealing with consumer complaints, NBN style

Dr Mumbo has many hobbies – some of which include watching television shows about nothing, talking about nothing, and complaining about everything.

The small pleasure he derives from each of these activities came together this week when in the face of growing disgruntlement and dissatisfaction with the country’s National Broadband Network (NBN), NBN Co non-executive director Michael Malone offered up this simple solution: If you complain about this groundbreaking 21st-Century project, you should go straight to the “back of the queue” – “No soup for you!” 

Malone told the Sydney Morning Herald today that ‘Service Class 0 customers’ – those who live in NBN-ready areas but are unable to connect to the network – who complain to the media should be relegated to the end of the line.

“If I was running NBN and they [complaining Service Class 0 customers] went to the media, I would put them to the back of the queue. Personally, that’s what I would do,” Malone said, urging patience and arguing all Service Class 0 issues will be resolved.

While Dr Mumbo acknowledges Seinfeld’s ‘The Soup Nazi’ could probably do with a more historically sensitive name – Malone’s “No soup for you” approach to customer service in the age of the NBN gave him some ideas.

Think your NBN should be working? No NBN for you.

Complain about Sophie Monk and Matty J’s poor life choices? No Bachie for you.

Disgusted at Ronnie and Georgia passing in at The Block auction? No reno shows for you.

Upset at Dr Blake going to Channel Seven? No more softcore Brit drama for you.

Disgruntled at Carmen and Fitzi being axed from Perth 96.5FM? No breakfast radio for you.

Furious at seeing children “swearing” during reality TV show ad breaks? No food deliveries for you.

Dr Mumbo looks forward to the brave new world of a complaints-free Australia – although he fears the Mumbrella comments section may be less fun.

 

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