It is a truth universally acknowledged that netizens are an inferior species of human.
It therefore came as no surprise to Dr Mumbo when “sexually experimental newsreader” Lee Lin Chin berated the apathetic public for valuing junk food and terrible music more than scientific progress.
In a very serious breaking news bulletin ‘LLC’ took netizens to task for liking the inferior Facebook pages of Rob Schneider, Nickelback and chicken nuggets while neglecting the page of the esteemed research organisation CSIRO.
“Are you saying you like processed chicken in the shape of a boot more than you do CSIRO?” she asks in utter disbelief. “Have you no shame?”
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“CSIRO gave the world plastic banknotes, 3D printed sternums, the Total Wellbeing Diet, Aerogard, wifi – you know, the thing you’re probably using right now.”
Among CSIRO’s greatest achievements, LLC claims, is the invention of the word for approaching rain. “It’s ‘petrichor’ and it’s awesome,” she snaps.
Dr Mumbo has taken LLC’s indignation to heart and is now thoroughly dissatisfied with the human condition. They have yet to like CSIRO’s Facebook page themselves, but have unfriended all Nickelback fans.