Significant seven: biggest turkeys
Over the next few days, we are publishing highlights from this year’s Mumbrella Annual.
1. Coles, Down down
Before Ted Horton, the man responsible for this ad, picks up the phone to us, we’d like to make one thing absolutely clear. We’re sure this ad was effective as hell. But effectiveness doesn’t save it from sucking on a number of levels. First, supermarket singalongs should be banned.
Butchering Petula Clark’s classic song Downtown was criminal. The ‘Down down’ lyrics are an assault on the ears. And the big red foam hands are a moronic finishing touch. But we could be wrong. So could a Facebook group that was set up to slate this ad called ‘The disturbed feeling you get after seeing the new Coles ad’, which has about 27,000 members.
2. Virgin Money, life insurance
A couple are sitting together, but so far apart you could drive a freight train between them. The man grumbles that no one really needs life insurance, only to be shushed in a patronising way by his wife. Yet another lame, predictable wheeze where the man plays an irritating fool who is humiliated by his intellectually superior other half.
3. Jacob’s Creek ‘Together we sparkle’
How could Euro RSCG possibly follow its ad for Jacob’s Creek featuring ‘smug Dan’ – one of the most criticised ads of 2010 – with anything nearly as bad this year?
Well, somehow they managed it with a gathering of bland, screeching, ethnically diverse middle-class wine drinkers. The ad ends with the line ‘True character’ and an astonishing lack of irony.
4.Canon Pixma, Cliff Logan
Cliff Logan is a goofy entrepreneur who rises to fame and fortune while working from home,
thanks to his trusty Canon Pixma printer. Curiously, the Canon Pixma brand manager insisted that this very silly ad had done well in pretesting.
“People could relate to him and his journey to success. He’s not a dry cardboard cut-out character,” she said. Really? The ad’s worst sin is that it made its target audience look like complete losers.
5. The Yellow Pages, ‘Look at me!’
A row of little men, who look like Tellytubbies gone horribly wrong, appear in puffs of smoke and sing ‘Hey, look at me!’ one after the other in a very irritating and vaguely sinister way. The point being that it’s hard to get noticed if you’re a small business – so you’d better get some attention by advertising in a book most people now use as a door stop, to light a fire or prop up a computer monitor.
6. Microsoft Live, ‘Yay, cloud!’
The scene is an airport lounge. A man explains to his girlfriend how Microsoft’s cloud service can help them record TV shows through their PC and exciting stuff like that. “Yay, cloud!” the woman responds, as if he’s just told her she has a dose of genital herpes. This was the most played primetime ad for the week, invading our living rooms no less than 69 times. The agony. Incredibly, this is not the worst ad Microsoft has ever made.
7. Pizza Hut, Stonefired pizza range
Reality TV show chef Aaron Harvie is cooking pizza for an amiable mingling of enthusiastic fans. They sound almost impressed when Harvie reveals that the pizza they’re eating is from Pizza Hut.
“That’s amazing,” chirps one. “I’m impressed,” chimes another.“Go Pizza Hut!” Not one for the M&C Saatchi show reel, although only slightly worse than the agency’s work for Woolworths this year.
This list first appeared in the Mumbrella Annual, which is currently on sale priced at $10 for access to the digital edition or $20 for both print and digital access.- Both can be ordered through Realview, via this link
Honourable mention for Harpic we are sorry ad?
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I don’t know a single person who doesn’t think Aaron whatsisname is anything but a smug jerk. This ad doesn’t help. Why? Just why? Terrible casting.
But I confess, I liked the Yellow Pages one BECAUSE it was so gloriously bad!
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I must admit, I too think the Telstra ad is so bad its good!
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How about that flash mob those guys did. Or that flash mob those other guys did. Or that other flash mob. Or the flash mob for the product that no one remembers. Yeah…they were great.
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You honestly think that Microsoft Cloud is worse than that Westpac shit? Or did you not want two campaigns from Ted in your bottom seven?
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jacob creek has to be the turkey of the year as they were actually trying to be insightful and emotional..whereas Coles has always had crap comms and they were just being who they are…
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effectivness is the only thing that matters in advertising – perhaps if more agencies and the industry’s trade media appreciated this, there would be less slashing and burning in this industry whenever downturns hit
if you want to be creative for creativity’s sake don’t expect to do it for a salary
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I’m in ongoing therapy due to each one of these.
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The Yellow Pages one makes me want to scratch my eyes out….
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A crap ad is ANY ad that is not great, meaning I wish to watch my show not adverts.
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I really hated on that Mums going into K-Mart an predicting prices Ad. It probably didn’t help that it was played before every youtube video and we had to wait five seconds before we could skip it!
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Were the Woolworths “Family” ads from the last months released too late for inclusion? Truly awful. And I can’t see how they could ever be effective, even if it was executed well enough for people to feel compassion for the characters. Makes me ill even thinking about it.
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The impressed guy in the Pizza Hut ad is more believable in the Qantas safety video.
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The other Coles Facebook fan page was better: “I date chicks from Coles, because they’re going down and staying down.”
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What? No mention of The Sydney Morning Herald’s “we say no” ad? Judging by the paper’s ever declining circulation and Fairfax’s $400million loss, people have been saying no to the paper for a few years now.
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Pretty sure the Coles ad was a reworking of the Status Quo song “Down down”. Doesn’t make it right but Petula Clark can feel slightly better about the whole thing.
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I haen’t seen any of these ads. The benefit of a commercial tv-free, comercial radio-free and (paper) newspaper/magazine-free lifestyle.
Occasionally I catch an ad online, but I can’t remember any from the last year.
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Jacobs Creek, no black people at all. Really diverse? Hmm…
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How on earth could you possibly consider the Coles ad a turkey? That it built a distinctive brand asset? That it infected people’s memories with thoughts of Coles? That it got punters all over Australia thinking about Coles being the place for lower prices?
It’s effective, yes. That’s what advertising’s sole role is. To be effective. The best way to be effective? Creativity.
This ad – albeit fucking annoying – is brilliantly effective. It’s why Ted Horton and his team are cleaning up. Jingles, devices, “brain worms” and other distinctive brand assets that REAL people understand and associate with those brands, leading to better sales.
Next you’ll be saying that Coke’s “dynamic ribbon” is old and stale. Come on guys, if you want to judge esoteric art, go work for the Australia Council.
DISCLOSURE: I used to work on Coles – but not for Ted Horton.
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Ugh agree with the life insurance ad. Hated when it came on.
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I don’t know if the Coles ad is still on or not, but my two year old is still waiving the giant red hand that one of the “helpful” employees gave him one shopping trip.
I’m torn between wanting the thing gone and not wanting to throw away one of his favourite toys.
Point of story is that the Coles banner is still being waived around by cute kids – maybe Huggies etc should look into the strategy.
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