Who sank and who swam this upfront season

This week, Foxtel revealed news so important, it could only be imparted to a select few on an abandoned convict island in the middle of the harbour.

Earlier in the week, Ten got Sandra Sully to report their news — more on that, later – while Seven used South by Southwest and the ICC to tell a thousand of its nearest and dearest that Dr. Chris Brown will be appearing in three television shows next year, and that they also know how to stream AFL games now thank you very much Foxtel.

But back to Foxtel’s upfront at Sydney’s Cockatoo Island. It was drizzling, because we were on a convict island, and we were in a metal barn with a 50-foot high roof and a cement floor, so the reverberations during the presentations were akin to a My Bloody Valentine concert, but the message was delivered: Foxtel have fixed the biggest problem with streaming services, and have also launched their own measurement system, finally putting those millions of black boxes sitting in lounge rooms across Australia to good use.