Dr Mumbo

17 things the SMH taught us about Pip Edwards’ activewear

Sometimes it’s too easy to look down upon the people who have “journalist” in their job title, but write about the lighter side of life.

Spare a thought then, for Sydney Morning Herald fashion editor Jenna Clarke, tasked with producing a profile of designer Pip Edwards.

Dr Mumbo’s favourite paragraph, in a genius piece of subversive writing, is this one:

“There’s a certain amount of mystery surrounding the Sydney fashion identity: because she’s always in activewear, you never know whether she’s going to the gym or just been there. Yet she perpetually smells like she’s just rolled in a field of iris, thanks to her $480 Christian Dior Bois d’Argent perfume. And there’s no sweat or hint of flush on her face, which is kept flawless thanks to monthly $150 blueberry face peels at Bondi Junction’s famed The Clinic.”

However, to truly demonstrate the value of such tongue-in-cheek journalism, it may be worth reflecting on all the information we learned in the epoch-defining article “How Pip Edwards sold Bondi to the world”:

  1. Pip Edwards is wearing activewear
  2. Pip Edwards always wears activewear
  3. Pip Edwards is promoting her activewear range
  4. Pip Edwards lives in Bondi
  5. Pip Edwards’ activewear range is from Bondi
  6. People in Bondi wear activewear
  7. Pip Edwards’ activewear range is available in reds, yellows, blues and black
  8. Pip Edwards remains grounded thanks to her use of a spiritual healer, a psychic and a kinesiologist
  9. Pip Edwards believes that working through a minor gym injury is akin to the pain of being in labour
  10. Pip Edwards is one of Australia’s leading activewear entrepreneurs
  11. Pip Edwards’ activewear leggings cost $179
  12. Pip Edwards wears her own range every day
  13. Pip Edwards is on Instagram
  14. When Pip Edwards goes out at night she wears her own range
  15. Pip Edwards is authentic and has a cycle of realness
  16. Pip Edwards does yoga
  17. Pip Edwards wears her own range at breakfast

In another important development revealed in the article: Cali Press juice bar sells organic coconut water with banana, baby spinach, chia, plant protein, almond butter, XCT oil and agave for $9.50.

So convincingly is the article written, Dr Mumbo almost missed the fact that it was all a hilarious prank…

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