Dr Mumbo

2Day FM Breakfast with Schapelle Corby? Em Rusciano predicts her replacement

Dr Mumbo knows breakfast radio is a fickle world, where presenters and music are mixed up and shuffled around in a desperate bid to capture stressed-out peak-hour drivers who are trapped in their cars and can’t figure out how to turn on their Bluetooth.

And, it seems, Dr Mumbo is not the only one to realise the precarious position breakfast radio presenters occupy, with 2Day FM Breakfast’s Em Rusciano suggesting none other than convicted drug smuggler Schappelle Corby will be the one to replace her when she is fired.

“They’re going to fucking fire me”: Rusciano joked

At the Sydney Opera House late last week, Rusciano conceded she’s “not the normal female on radio” and told the sold-out crowd to to enjoy her return to the wireless while it lasted.

“You guys, enjoy me while you can, because they’ll replace me with 2Day FM Breakfast with Schapelle Corby by the end of the year,” she joked.

Amid screams of “We love you” and “You’re so skinny” from the crowd – who insisted she would never be fired – Rusciano lamented: “They’re going to have to fucking fire me, you know that… I’m my own worst enemy. I’m going to get myself sacked. You fucking know that.”

Then, there’s the ratings, which Dr Mumbo notes are due out again next week.

“We are huge online – which is what you want on breakfast radio ratings,” Rusciano quipped, before noting “in-house hospital radio” and “the station that reports the fishing conditions” are all ahead of 2Day FM.

Perhaps Dr Mumbo’s favourite part of the monologue was when Rusciano turned her love/hate relationship with breakfast radio into a song – to the tune of the ever-so-catchy Despacito.

Alphabucks and endless R’n’B Friday mashups,
Talking publicly about my fuckups,
Have I mentioned the 4am get ups?

Going out and deliberately starting arguments,
With people that I haver never met,
Just so I can get some fucking content

Breakfast radio
Pretending to care about Taylor Swift, oh,
The same song 20 times on my shift, oh
Can’t say fuck, shit, cunt or bitch, oh

Breakfast radio
I never thought I would be here again, oh
Sitting next to the king of Family Feud, oh,
Is anybody out there even tuning on oh?

Breakfast radio

Rusciano also referred to an ongoing feud with a “Schmyle Schmandilands” and his “infant girlfriend Schmimogen”, but Dr Mumbo has neither the brain power, nor the inclination to decipher who she may be referring to.

“A fellow radio host on another station, let’s call him Schmyle Schmandilands…..he publicly said that I should be ashamed and embarrassed by my radio show. Unfortunately, that was the day that I did sell this very venue out in 20 minutes, and I pointed that out in a sassy Facebook post, and then Kyle’s infant girlfriend, Schmiogen – imagine waking up to [Kyle] every day – had a go at me, and then she tasted your fire. She had to shut her comments down, it was amazing,” she said, before noting every criticism and feud actually upsets her and “fucks me off”. 

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