How to save Channel Ten
Dr Mumbo takes no joy in the demise of Ten.
He does, however, enjoy the potential programming outcomes which could result from the network’s financial woes, as demonstrated by the #FixNetworkTen hashtag on Twitter.
Arr Twitter hashtags, thinks Dr Mumbo, the place all echo chamber occupants can turn to for a giggle and guffaw when all is not right in the world.
Dr Mumbo’s favourite suggestion comes from AdrianCutts (@LYBASkw) who uses The Simpsons – a show Dr Mumbo notes Ten often turns to in times of trouble – who suggests we replace CEO Paul Anderson with “A guy named Lenny”.
Replace the CEO with a guy named Lenny. #fixnetworkten pic.twitter.com/dhLpx6QZto
— Adrian Cutts (@LYBASkw) June 14, 2017
Adrian wasn’t the only Tweeter to turn to suggest Ten’s saviours may appear in the form of animated Springfield residents, with Dr Mumbo’s pals at The NT News suggesting a slight programming tweak would solve everything.
MAYBE TEN NETWORK CAN KEEP NEWS AND SPORT, DITCH PANEL AND REALITY SHOWS, AND FILL THE REST OF THEIR SCHEDULE WITH CLASSIC SIMPSONS EPISODES pic.twitter.com/rfIkUFGILF
— The NT News (@TheNTNews) June 14, 2017
Other solutions were more practical – although Dr Mumbo notes not necessarily more achievable.
Run programs to start and end at the advertised times. #FixNetworkTen
— The Guidefather (@SteveMolk) June 14, 2017
A streaming service that actually fucking works #FixNetworkTen
— Anthony ? (@anthonycr0) June 14, 2017
Replace Grant Denyer with Lee Lin Chin. #FixNetworkTen
— David (@TheGrimRecapper) June 14, 2017
Four words. Ron. Wilson. Dance. Contest. #FixNetworkTen
— PeepingSignal (@Brayds2006) June 14, 2017
Put someone born in the 80’s in charge of programming#FixNetworkTen pic.twitter.com/FjPZuldcgH
— Browny (@brownypaul) June 14, 2017
Like Masterchef, but replace Gary and George with two other people who are respected. #FixNetworkTen
— David (@TheGrimRecapper) June 14, 2017
It’s a Knockout/Hunger Games mash-up
Real People.
Real Weapons.
Real Ratings. #FixNetworkTen— Matt/Frost (@Phroosh77) June 14, 2017
Dr Mumbo, who is currently on the search for Lenny, wants to thank The Guidefather (@SteveMolk) who appears to have started the movement.
OK, so I reckon we could crowdsource ways to #FixNetworkTen. What’s your grand idea (let’s keep it light & not make it personal, please)…
— The Guidefather (@SteveMolk) June 14, 2017
A mash-up of 90s teen dramas, classic video-clips, and 30 minute movie snippets custom built for people with very short attention spans.
Imagine – 90210 classic episode (David Silver is doing meth and sleeping rough on a park bench), a Beavis and Buthead episode (the one with the Jeremy music video by Pearl Jam), 30 minutes of The Crow with Brandon Lee, a 5 minute Saved by the Bell interlude, 30 minutes of Yo! MTV Raps, 5 minutes of random footage from long forgotten TV drama The Heights with no context, Merry Melodies cartoon, then 30 minutes of news from Panama… Huh!? Huh!?
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The one about streaming couldn’t be more accurate.
If it works (unlikely), you have to actually FIND the bloody thing. Then, my favourite, is when you search for a stream of a sports event and it brings up the bloody score/result as the first option…
After three years of trying I actually stream the F1 from the UK because (as well as the above) it’s impossible to know when it will be on TEN/11/One (pick any and then pick a random time).
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Poor journalistic writing on this one. Who is Dr Mumbo and why is it continually referenced. Maybe look at writing an article readers cab actually understand instead of trying to be funny with a poor punchline.
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Let’s face it – Ten had a loyal niche audience, which they ditched in pursuit of the almighty dollar. Except they went into an overcrowded market trying to poach pennies from Seven and Nine, but never took enough audience for it to pay off.
They offloaded their flagship shows to Eleven, put all their eggs in the reality basket and forgot about the innovation in programming that saw them stand out from the rest.
Then a series of expensive mistakes including the “news revolution”, and Wake Up (and the infamous surf club conversion and infrastructure to set it up).
Where to next? Do us all a favour and ditch reality. Use the output deals put scripted comedy and drama back on TV again. Put out a schedule and stick to it. If you commit to airing a show, keep it in the timeslot for it’s entire run. It’s simple things that the audience appreciates.
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You must be new here…. (*can actually read)
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Sell inspirational aspirational. Move some thinking bits from Sky onto 10 such as The Outsiders and create a more balanced NON PC correct channel which discusses current bigger issues, interviews world class authorities, shows good docos such as some SBS items. Do no bleeding hearts, Alphabet people( LGBTI), failed aboriginal programs but aspirational success stories about them, Great and innovative enviro bits (not same old same old whimpers) Sell inspirational aspirational leadership , good social solutions stories like great educational outcomes from Scandanavia or USA from outliers.Great farming stories to show farmers respect the land rather than lecture about it as do the greens. Vic gets a daily socialist dose each day from ABC774 and 3aw so we need a thinking womans/mans channel we can use to LIFT rather than smother our values and dreams. IT WOULD SELL Such a neglected niche. Could be a foil to Twitter and community radio destructiveness. Australia needs nurturing!!
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