Dr Mumbo has a feeling it’s going to be a good year.
You see, the omens are excellent.
When the worst minute of TV has already been broadcast before the New Year fireworks have even ended, the bar for television calamities has been set high.
Forget about the ABC’s team nearly missing midnight, the real action was taking place in the digital wastelands.
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Over on Eleven, low profile music show The Loop’s equally obscure presenters Scott Tweedie and Olivia Phyland were trying their hearts out to build some excitement.
And given the cost of doing something like this live, creating that feeling when they probably shot it back in October was a big ask.
But they tried. By gosh, they tried.
“To help us with the countdown, we ran a competition,” Tweedie told viewers.
“This is on one of the biggest competitions in Australia…” he somehow continued with a straight face, “…to do the countdown on The Loop set. Here they are, your winners, come on over.”
At which point up stepped eight punters, looking more like they’d just got off that Qantas flight from Dubai that was delayed 24 hours, rather than winning “the biggest competition in Australia”.
But plucky Tweedie and Phyland stuck with it as the countdown began, even if their “winners” were in no way grinners…
10! The man with the glittery pom-poms is lost in a reverie last seen on a West World host
9! The horror begins to spread to the group
8! Pom-pom man is out of his reverie. But his new expression is no improvement
7! The man in the white T-shirt begins to ask himself how he ended up here
6! Never has ten seconds lasted so long
5! Tweedie and Phyland bravely try to gee up their victims
4! The prize winners avoid eye contact so they don’t get dragged in
3! Their contempt grows as Tweedie actually wets himself with excitement
2! Is it nearly over? It’s nearly over
1! They have poppers. Oh God, they have party poppers
And as the broadcast left 2016 and entered 2017 it got even more special.
The woman on the left – who appears to be dressed more for the office (not that Dr Mumbo is for one moment suggesting that all of these people actually work there and were dragged in at the last minute against their will) – has a popper. And a regretful expression.
Regret turns to anger a she aims the popper at Tweedie’s stupid face
The projectile takes flight
The angry woman turns away in disgust as she realises the missile is going to fall short without causing serious injury
Like a prize fighter who doesn’t know when to stay on the canvas, Phyland’s giving it one more go. Surely she’s not going to…
Oh, she is. She’s grabbing pom-pom guy and forcing him to dance with her in the first unwanted physical contact of 2017. Meanwhile, everyone else is leaving
The hosts are now alone. All alone.
Obviously, Dr Mumbo can’t stress enough, that you really should watch the video:
And if that’s not enough then get a load of the practice run they posted to Facebook two days earlier.
Speaking of Facebook, Dr Mumbo will leave the final word on the matter to The Loop’s Facebook, erm, fans…
2017 is going to be one helluva year.
2.15pm update: Dr Mumbo’s attention is drawn to a tweet from Tweedie which suggests the angry popper chucker was indeed a member of the public rather than a roped-in staffer. Tweedie claims she was thrown out by security.