The 20 most flattering things spammers have said to me this week
Unless you happen to write a blog – which admittedly may account for half of Mumbrella’s readers – you may not be fully familiar with the joys of web spam.
The main difference to email spam is that rather than trying to coax your bank account details via promised shares in stolen African wealth, the aim is usually simply to build SEO through hiding links.
Happily, the technology is pretty good at filtering most of it. Which can be a pity, as it’s good for the ego. Rescued from the spam filter, these are my favourites of the last week, even if they could apply to any site in the world.
Like this, from Diotteentehag:
“Very mega super interesting site. I’ll Come again!”
And this from Bon Toy:
“I was lucky to find your mumbrella.com.au web site. You definitely can write and teach and inspire. Keep writing – I’ll keep reading.”
Thanks, Bon Toy. Next time I’m looking for a website for toys and games provided by a spammer, I’m there. You keep spamming – I’ll keep filtering.
Or this from the curiously named Efrain Thrush:
“You can certainly see your expertise in the work you write. The arena hopes for even more passionate writers like you who aren’t afraid to mention how they believe. All the time go after your heart.”
Good advice, and exactly the sort of thing I’m sure I could read more of if I landed on your asbestos exposure symptoms website.
Or even this from a nice Russian chap:
“Here a ton of information here. Thanks! I’ll be back for more.”
And this:
“I spent last 2 hours reading your posts and must say: awseome website !”
Thanks, Cichodajki
But even spammers suffer from self-doubt:
“Hi. I needed to drop you a quick notice to express my thanks. Ive been following your weblog for a month or so and have picked up a ton of excellent data and loved the strategy you’ve structured your site. I am attempting to run my very own blog nevertheless I think its too normal and I need to deal with quite a lot of smaller topics. Being all issues to all people just isn’t all that its cracked as much as be.”
Don’t worry, anonymous spammer. I don’t think you’re too normal. And the same goes for “Light” who is also tormented:
“I’m glad that I’ve found your mumbrella.com.au web site. Aw, this was a really quality post. In theory I’d like to write like this too – taking time and real effort to make a good article… but what can I say… I procrastinate alot and never seem to get something done.”
Don’t be so hard on yourself, Light. Spamming can be a pretty time-consuming occupation.
Or just the flattery:
“Hi there! Cool forum! I’ve found so much useful information here.”
And not-very-original flattery:
“It had been some time since I visited website with such high quality information. Thansk loads for the useful data”
And the back-handed compliment from Solange Edmons:
“I have no words to appreciate this.”
Really? None? Can’t you even try?
Or don’t even bother with the compliment at all:
“At one site I had already read almost the same info, but thanks anyway…”
Or be like Kourtnie, and barely bother:
“your good”
Or:
“Very good forum. Add to bookmarks”
At least Np1OUE is giving it a bash:
“Hi! I’m just wondering if i can get in touch with you, since you have amazing content, and i’m thinking of running a couple co-projects! email me pls”
Maybe not, NplOUE.
Then there’s the compliment with a side-order-of-fake-problem:
“Oh my goodness! an amazing article dude. Thanks Nonetheless I am experiencing challenge with ur rss . Don’t know why Unable to subscribe to it. Is there anyone getting similar rss problem? Anybody who knows kindly respond. Thnkx”
And that’s not the only person with an RSS question:
“Simply want to say your article is as amazing. The clearness in your post is simply great and i could assume you are an expert on this subject. Well with your permission let me to grab your RSS feed to keep up to date with forthcoming post. Thanks a million and please carry on the gratifying work.”
Or this gold class compliment from a silver bullion website spammer, who scores double for including a random Lady Gaga reference:
“What i don’t realize is in fact how you’re now not really much more neatly-liked than you might be right now. You’re very intelligent. You know therefore significantly in the case of this topic, produced me for my part believe it from numerous various angles. Its like women and men don’t seem to be fascinated unless it is something to do with Lady gaga! Your individual stuffs excellent. All the time handle it up!”
But some people can be so demanding, Like Vampires, who says he or she wants me to post more often than the several times a day we currently manage:
“Fantastic job with this piece. Wish you’d post more often though. Many of people can benefit from it.”
Happily, Ricardo who’s spamming security systems, isn’t as demanding:
“Possibly the best post I have read all year :)”
All year? Is that all? Elblagdj can go a little further:
“This is the best post i’ve ever read!”
Steady, Elblagdj.
Tim Burrowes
Linkedin
This IS the best post I’ve ever read!
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*GASP!*
You mean that none of those compliments are real? but but… I get those as wordpress comments all the time, and hotgrl4u seems really nice (except her spelling is a bit odd, but she’s probably foreign).
Now I’m depressed and it’s all your fault.
Wolfie!
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I like this VERY much.
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I can see you’ve taken some time putting this list together, well done – t’was a good read.
Now I read back my comment and try to ensure that IT doesn’t sound like spam.
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Ha – I wrote a post last week about the inferiority complex you could get from the subject lines from spammers (and i’m a girl) i.e. “Hello, Smallest thing of the year, How are you? ; )”
http://blog.jericho.co.nz/how-.....downunder/
I collect these subject lines, some of them are gold, but i only used a few in my post cos i dont want my clients thinking i’m obsessed with my size…
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I have no idea what this is about
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Web Spam from “Efrain Thrush”, can be stopped by taking a pill or using a topical cream. Or switching to cotton underwear, I’m told…
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This is Spam !
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I remember the first time I received this kind of spam. It was a string of Japanese characters I was unable to decipher.
I fired up Google translate and ran my japanese compliment through and was really flattered and chuffed…I even remarked about how chuffed I was on my blog the next day, extolling the virtues of the internet.
I then noticed that in the trailing ‘……………………………..’ every full stop was a link to porn.
🙁
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Don’t buy from ‘Free Viagra From y0z2a’ all he gives you are headache pills!!
…allegedly.
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I have seriously received some of the exact same comments as these! One of my favourites:
I was very happy to find this internet-site.I wished to thanks to your time for this wonderful read!! I undoubtedly having fun with every little bit of it and I have you bookmarked to check out new stuff you weblog post.
Sometimes when I’m feeling rejected from lack of real comments I just delete their links and change their name from ‘free porno sex’ to ‘Vic’.
Then I feel popular!
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“I have no words to appreciate this.”
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What amuses me is when organisational blogs publish some of this spam thinking they are genuine comments.
I like your blog long time!
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I am obviously a spam virgin. I have never seen such elaborate spam techniques and feel violated just at the thought. No ethics in some people.
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Hi Tim, can you help me make a finely honed judgement call on this one?
I received a comment on my post “10 Ways to Work Incredibly Hard with No Results Guaranteed” that read:
‘Earn a degree in commercial mandolin. Dr. B, author, “The Mandolin Case”‘.
So was that spam, or is Dr B suggesting a rather unique way to work hard with no results guaranteed?
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Remember Tim…all the time go after your heart.
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@ Cara – I totally do this too. I’m so glad I’m not the only loser out there!! 😉
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My friend first found your blog on Google and she referred your blog to me.’-~”:
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I just added your RSS Feed on my RSS reader, it is so nice to read your blog.`.~:;
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I always visit new blog everyday and i found your blog.-.”:*
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I’m a blog crazed person and i love to read cool blog like yours.:::,-
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RSS Feeds on your blog sometimes does not work.**::`
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Judging by the way you write, you seem like a professional writer.’,,”‘
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Sometimes your blog is loading slowly, better find a better host.,`-‘~
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Judging by the way you write, you seem like a professional writer.-,,.~
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I’m a blog crazed person and i love to read cool blog like yours.'”::,
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I will invite all my friends to your blog, you really got a great blog.:`–;
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“fascinating and thought insightful weblog posting. I have am inspired!”
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Your blog is one of a kind, i love the way you organize the topics.*-**`
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Only a few blogger would discuss this topic the way you do.`,*.`
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Judging by the way you write, you seem like a professional writer..’;`.
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I see that you are using WordPress on your blog, wordpress is the best.;~’:,
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I love blogging and i can say that you also love blogging.'”:~’
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Thank You For This Blog, was added to my bookmarks.
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Perhaps you should update the php server on your webhost, WordPress is kinda slow.’,”*-
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Only a few blogger would discuss this topic the way you do.-”’`
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Sometimes, blogging is a bit tiresome specially if you need to update more topics.*`:;”
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I just put the link of your blog on my Facebook Wall. very nice blog indeed.`-,.~
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Thanks for the great post on your blog, it really gives me an insight on this topic.,:*`:
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You seem to be very professional in the way you write.:,-*-
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You are so cool man, the post on your blogs are super great.”~.”~
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Judging by the way you write, you seem like a professional writer.`~”-~
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I always visit your blog everyday to read new topics.*.”,*
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Great blog post and nice discussion among the comments.~`,`~
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A blog like yours should be earning much money from adsense.’“.:
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I really love the way you discuss this kind of topic.;:,~,
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There are certainly a couple more details to take into consideration, but thank you for sharing this information.
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I would really love to guest post on your blog.`.,”*
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You seem to be very professional in the way you write.`.:.`
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The way you write, you are really a professional blogger.-`,;*
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I just love to read new topics from you blog.'”~**
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I will invite all my friends to your blog, you really got a great blog.-;*.’
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Thank you for the sound critique. Me and my neighbour were just setting up to do some research about this. I am very happy to see such great information being shared freely out there.
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Your blog has the same post as another author but i like your better.`’::’
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