The Unofficial Cannes Lions winners
So, the crazy advertising circus that is Cannes is over. And all the awards have been given out. But no one likes going home empty handed.
Here are the Unofficial Cannes Lions winners…
Juiciest rumour – grand prix: The big networks have been leaning on the judges to vote for their own network’s entries.
Juiciest rumour – silver: Block voting by networks will lead to a boycott of Cannes.
Biggest criticism of Cannes – grand prix: Presentations were repeats of those given at other festivals earlier in the year.
Biggest criticism of Cannes – gold: The work wasn’t as good as last year.
Most conservative estimate for how much money Cannes Lions makes: €39m ($49m)
Most inaccurate Cannes prediction – grand prix: That BYO Cup Day for 7-Eleven by Leo Burnett Melbourne wouldn’t win more than a bronze.
Most inaccurate Cannes prediction – gold: That Australia would have its worst ever at Cannes. We probably had our best ever – 59 lions, up from 35 in 2011.
Most ironic juxtaposition of awards: Wieden + Kennedy founder Dan Wieden urges independent agencies to “stay independent!” after receiving his lifetime achievement award… just before the holding company of the year award.
Most boring trade title: AdNews. Conspicuous by their absence at parties. SAdNews.
Most annoying contingent of journalists: Brazil. Territorialised areas of the press room and did not understand the meaning of SHHHH.
Best unawarded Australian ad: Ship Song Project by The Monkeys, which was “lost in translation” by the jury, says The Monkeys ECD Scott Nowell.
Biggest achievement for a shortlisted Aussie agency: Fnuky gets an Adelaide shop on a shortlist (PR) for the first time in, um, many a year.
Most disappointing revelation for Australia: That BBH won’t be setting up in Oz any time soon.
Most inappropriate introduction to a speaker: Brazilian ad legend Nizan Guanaes, chairman of Grupo ABC de Comunicação, introduced former US President Bill Clinton as “the 42nd President of the United Stations”.
Best compliment about an ad: Bill Clinton called the DirecTV campaign by Grey New Yorks “the funniest commercials I’ve ever seen.”
Best comment about Australian advertising: Argentine ad guru and JWT worldwide creative director Fernando Vega Olmos. “The thing I like about Australian advertising is that it doesn’t take itself too seriously.”
Worst attended press session: MTV. Tumble weed.
Most liberal application of hair product: Branded content Cannes juror Michael Hilliard, executive producer, Finch Sydney
Most noticeable sponsor – gold: Film Brazil
Most noticeable sponsor – silver: Innocean
Most horrifying sight for animal lovers: A bear skin rug at the BETC party. (It is unclear whether the bear’s head on said rug was the same bear used in BETC’s ‘The Bear’ ad for Canal Plus, which won the grand prix for Film Craft.)
Most beautiful people in Cannes: impossible to choose. Agony for unsuccessful singletons.
Loudest question asked at a press conference: The Australian’s media business writer Darren Davidson, who was ticked off by conference CEO Philip Thomas for deafening the press room when shouting a question at the Branded Content jury.
Best ranter at parties: Mark Sweney, advertising, marketing and new media correspondent for The Guardian newspaper.
Best Cannes juror: Tham Khai Meng, global chief creative officer of Ogilvy, who chaired the Film and Press Lions. Tough but fair.
Most thought-provoking session: Alain de Botton. Bald but brilliant.
Best Cannes press officer: Amelia Craig, who’s also personal assistant to movie director Sofia Coppola.
Feistiest reporter in press conferences: Campaign Asia Pacific’s Emily Tan. One of the few hacks to ask more of jurors than: ‘So, what did you think of the winner from [insert country here]?’
Most well-attended press briefing: Debbie Harry from Blondie.
Best mode of transport – grand prix: The Arnold Amsterdam Bike.
Best mode of transport – gold: The Dutch Young Lions bus.
Least well-attended attraction in Cannes: The beach.
Most perfect individual – gold: NineMSN’s immaculate boss Mark Britt.
Most confusing interviewee: R/GA’s creative chief Bob Greenberg. Um, huh?
Best business card – gold: Geoff Edwards, ECD of San Francisco-based agency Dojo.
Worst business card: Mars. The creativity of the Cannes Advertiser of the Year clearly doesn’t translate to all forms of communication.
Worst attended sponsored area on La Croisette – grand prix: Yahoo! tied with MPG (even with daily emails begging people to come).
Worst attended sponsored area on La Croisette – gold: The Mobile Marketing Association’s hangover-magnifying orange tent.
Worst excuse for avoiding an interview: “I’m sorry, I’m running into a board meeting.”
Most gratuitous love-in during a conference session: BBH founder Sir John Hegarty and Dan Wieden. You’re great. No, you’re great.
Best trade rag Cannes edition cover – gold: The Drum
Best trade rag Cannes edition cover – silver: Campaign Asia Pacific
Most unfortunate case of bad timing: Naked’s Adam Ferrier, who was suffering from a dodgy stomach, had to dash to the loo during Bill Clinton’s speech.
Best sabotage of an interview: Arun Sudhaman, managing editor of UK PR bible The Holmes Report, walked in front of a rolling camera during The Economic Times of India’s (long-winded) interview with Bob Greenberg.
Were in Cannes? Can think of others? Leave a comment or email email@example.com and we’ll add them to the list.