Dr Mumbo

Wanted: ‘Housemate who has lots of people in their life they won’t miss if they disappear’

Gumtree What We Do in the ShadowsDr Mumbo’s been looking for new digs, and was sorely tempted by this ad on Gumtree until he read the requirements more closely. He was especially disturbed by the need for “lots of people in their life they won’t miss if they disappear” and the ban on cooking with garlic…

The housemate wanted post on Gumtree is part of a campaign for New Zealand vampire film What We Do In The Shadows, starring Flight of the Conchord’s Jemaine Clement, which tells the story of three vampires “who are just trying to get by in modern society”.

Ahead of the film’s premiere in Australia on September 4 it now looks like the New Zealand vampire trio have moved to Melbourne’s Brunswick and are in need of a housemate.

The Gumtree ad describes the group as “a group of four easy-going males looking for someone cool and groovy to invite into our house who is also villing to teach us a little bit about modern society, fashion and ze internet”.

It continues to describe each of the current housemates in more detail.

“Our oldest housemate Petyr doesn’t talk to us much, but he always joins us at dinner-time vhen we eat chicken. Deacon is ze young bad boy of ze house, who has some trouble sticking to ze housework roster, but he is always good fun. Vladislav is quite a lovely fellow who enjoys spending time in his special room of vhips and chains, and I love gramophones, romantic poetry, frilly shirts and partying like its 1899!”

The group likes to keep the house dark, warning “you won’t see us much during ze day, but we would like it if you joined us at night when we try to get invited into nightclubs”.

What they’re looking for is a “professional, non-smoker who overlooks things easily, pays ze rent on time, is good at cleaning shoe marks off ze ceiling, and has lots of people in their life they won’t miss if they disappear”.

Ze room has a bed, a desk, a set of drawers, a spare coffin if necessary, and is available for $150 p/w + 2 veeks bond (negotiable). “No dogs. No religious nuts. No cooking wiv garlic. No clumsy people who cut zemselves a lot.”

The post finishes up with a reference to the movie “We recently filmed a documentary at our house, you can see ze trailer here http://mad.mn/deliciousnecks“.


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