Marketing gurus and CMOs are hiding in ‘the future’ because the present is ‘a dangerous place to be’
The great thing about talking about the future is that you don't have to know anything, writes Bob Hoffman. You just make shit up and nobody can refute it. And when the future comes, who's going to remember the baloney you predicted 10 years ago?
When I’m shooting my mouth off at some conference, the question I get most frequently is this: “What’s the future of advertising?” I have no fucking idea what’s going to happen 10 minutes from now. How the hell am I supposed to know what’s going to happen ‘in the future’, whenever the hell that is? For all I know, someday someone might click on a banner ad. Who knows?
But conference goers and press reporters can’t help asking that question. They’ve been trained to do this by marketing yappers. You see, marketing gurus are usually so confused by all the horseshit generated by their industry that they can’t even figure out what’s happening now. So they’ve learned to hide in the future.
The great thing about talking about the future is that you don’t have to know anything. You just make shit up and nobody can refute it. And when the future comes, who’s going to remember the baloney you predicted 10 years ago? Meanwhile, you make a lot of money and get a lot of press with impressive-sounding horseshit.
This strategy also works great for CMOs…
BOSS: Why is business so shitty?
CMO: Well, we’re preparing for the future…
Sadly, when the future shows up 18 months later and business is still shitty the CMO gets thrown out on his ass and is replaced by some other nitwit who thinks he knows what the future looks like. The present, on the other hand, is a dangerous place. It’s a place with actual facts. There’s accountability. When you say something about the present, there’s a way to check on it. So if you’re a buffoon with a Powerpoint and a bag full of clichés stay away from the present. Nothing to see here. Head for the future – it’s your happy place.
One of my personal policies when I do talks is to never talk about the future. The present is bad enough. The only time I do so is to ridicule predictions made by marketing geniuses. Always good for a few laughs. I try only to speak about what’s currently happening. Not horseshit about stuff that may or may not happen in 10 years. A good deal of what I talk about is how different the present is from the once certain predictions of marketing futurists.
I go to a lot of conferences (hey, it’s a living) and I have to listen to a lot of speakers. It’s pretty easy to know pretty quickly who the bullshit artists are. They’re the ones who are telling us what the future is going to be like and warning us that we’d better be ready for it or we’ll be left behind. And being ready for it usually includes buying into some baloney they’re selling.
The futurists know nothing that you don’t know. Well, I’m wrong. They know one thing – they know how to turn bullshit into a speaking fee. And they always have an escape valve. When you point out that a prediction of theirs was 100 per cent dead-ass wrong, they give you this: “Just wait, you’ll see.”
In other words, they kick the can further into the future. It’s a no-lose proposition. So I have some predictions to make about the future:
- Social media will replace advertising
- The 30-second spot is dead
- Google glasses will be everywhere
- TV will die
- QR codes will change advertising
- Interactive TV will be huge
Bob Hoffman has been the CEO of two independent agencies and is the author of the Ad Contrarian blog, where this article first appeared.
What a refreshing article
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Solid GOLD, thanks Bob, what a breath of fresh air
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Curmudgeon is not a common persona in advertising, a business that sells aspiration, but I’ll be reading Bob’s blog to find out what’s happening in the present. Based on this article it’s sure to be entertaining…with a style somewhere between Voltaire and a cranky taxi driver.
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There seems to a trend for “the wrong side of middle age” men trying to seem relevant by shitting all over digital at every opportunity. It’s isn’t original, it isn’t edgy, and is becoming boring.
Hey Bob, Mark, how about making a fucking contribution without having to denigrate other people. Or is that the modus operandi to be heard?
Bob I don’t like futurists either but you are deluded if you think some people aren’t more aware of what is likely to happen. It’s called being informed.
Yes a lot of them are charlatans, but at least many of them make a bet with their wallets in startups. Tell me Bob, Mark, what has your opinion really cost you? Seems you are both just desperate for paid speaking gigs yourselves. Or to sell an online MBA course – thanks Bob for not doing that.
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I think “futurist” in Europe, in about 750 AD, would have been the best job in the world. “What will things be like in 20 years?”, an audience member would ask. “Pretty much like they are now”, you would answer. And your accuracy rate would be 100%!
Today, it’s not so easy. Lot’s of people get it wrong. Some get it right. Marketing is about the future. You want to know what’s happening today, or last week? Of course not. You already know that. Marketing moves businesses into the future. To castigate those that try to get that right is unfair. And too easy.
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Ageist much? Ironically Bob and Mark predicted the future pretty well given how digital is shitting all over itself right now
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If pointing out the fact that a lot of digital is flaky and not the promised land then Bob is guilty. The fact that the evangelists see nothing but digital and hate him for it makes this all the more refreshing. And as for ageism, surely just one step removed from sexism… …shame on you.
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Please name the digital evangelists that “see nothing but digital” and reference quotes thanks. Who are these people, do they even exist? Or is this all a false flag strategy?
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Really Rob? Ok what is the future that they predicted? Digital shitting all over itself, or people with an axe to grind simply having an opinion? What are the facts Rob? Last I looked, digital seems to doing quite well. And I can’t see many companies that didn’t adopt a heavy digital strategy doing particularly well, do you?
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You?
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hey Dull, you need to read a bit more instead of sipping the digi kool-aid. And you should bookmark Bob’s blog, know thine enemy and all that.
Take your pick:
Adtech BS http://adcontrarian.blogspot.c.....ilure.html
Facebook BS
https://mumbrella.com.au/facebook-streaming-numbers-plummet-recalibration-423919
Dodgy ad placement:
http://www.smh.com.au/business.....v4rle.html
How do you like those facts?
Sad thing is you don’t have to look far to see the shit hitting the fan. Bob in particular has flagged this stuff going back years, it just took everyone a while to catch up. Probably because of all the self-interested clusterfucks banging on about this stuff at conferences which is the point of the whole article.
Digital marketing, like most things, is best in moderation.
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how about this guy:
https://mumbrella.com.au/facebook-marketing-433157
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Surely if they saw more than digital they would simply be called evangelists…
Also me thinks someone forgot their happy pills today. Cheer up buddy, it’s Friday.
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So you think this makes the case for digital shitting itself?
Dodgy ad placement never happens on TV or outdoor does it? I guess we will never know because there isn’t data. Oh hold on there is sampling. FFS.
Most startups and unicorns build their businesses on the back of digital advertising, are you telling me it isn’t working for them?
Here is a fact: most people in digital have been banging on about the same problems and stressing digital in moderation for years as well. You don’t see the digital industry creating campaigns to sell ad space online do you? If it didn’t work, people wouldn’t do it. Or do you really think CMOs just ignore ROI and blindly buy digital inventory? What Bob has is an unwieldy response to a real problem, with a lack of finesse and anti digital sentiment that speaks volumes.
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I’m starting to agree this is becoming dull……let’s agree to disagree.
But as one of your kindly described “wrong side of middle aged men” I’ll leave you with a general thought. Back in the day the industry was not divided by channels, everyone worked together for good client outcomes and we all had a shitload of fun.
Sadly this industry is now a sweat shop with margins made in digital media arbitrage and all the fun and charm has been sucked out of it.
But at least digital and social are really cool…..
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The bigger issue is that until marketing has a unified measurement approach across all media we are all guessing.
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You raise a good point.
After all, Bon and Mark’s body of work pales into insignificance compared to yours after I did a Google search.
The only thing worse than some old fuddy-duddy pissing all over digital is … a young one doing the inverse.
I’ll let you go back to Second Life now.
Enjoy.
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“how about making a fucking contribution”
Pretty sure Bob ran agencies for a couple of decades – fair contribution.
Dry your eyes there sweetheart. Bob is a freshwater drop in an ocean of bullshit so deep and vast it is difficult to comprehend. Know what’s already boring? Whiny millennial agency wanks complaining about how old people don’t get it. “Wrong side of middle age” – how very ageist of you. Talk about having an axe to grind…
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…that Bob has an axe to grind about ‘digital’. It is a really immature and surprising stance from somebody who considers themselves a big cheese in the marketing world.
Marketing is about a mix. Over time ‘traditional’ and ‘digital’ will blend and we will be left with ‘marketing’. – That’s my prediction for the future.
There are pro’s and con’s with all types of marketing. The major benefits with digital certainly seem to be the data – and it’s factual. Successful marketeers can certainly benefit if they are great at bean counting, today, in 2017; ‘the present’. Having said that, creativity is still a big part of creating desire. Nowadays TVC’s can be effective, albeit we might need to tweak these to receive success from ‘digital’ audiences. Scientifically we can get reporting from ‘digital’ networks, which tells us duration of ad time and whether it resulted in a click also. We might only need to pay for proven performance. We have never understood the real metrics from traditional TV. (Hey if your advert at halftime on the AFL grand final doesn’t get you some exposure, then what will..?)
The future: Many marketeers certainly seem to be living in the past. Many seem to be adopting new marketing technologies and are winning and of course a few might not be winning. Scenario: Two advertisers, in a similar industry, who both utilise new ‘digital’ platforms, one is winning and the other isnt. Is one of the clients executing a new age plan v the other client trying to replicate a ‘traditional’ strategy on ‘digital’ platforms? Is that why it isnt working for them? It can often be the case.
I know one thing from reading a few of Bob’s pieces now and that is not to expect a balanced, well researched, informative piece.
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