Dr Mumbo

Queensland Government loses coin toss, forced to host Aussie Shore

Dr Mumbo can reveal that, after fierce negotiations, the Queensland Government will be forced to host Aussie Shore, the first local iteration of the MTV reality franchise, thereby showcasing beautiful Cairns to the world and risking it becoming a lads’ holiday hotspot.

Known for aggressively thrusting TV personalities such as Nicole Polizzi, DJ Pauly D, and Charlotte Crosby onto the world, the ‘Shore’ series now boasts 15 different spin-off series, including Warsaw Shore (shot in Poland, world famous for its surfin’ safaris), and the fun-filled frolic that is Germany Shore, shot in Greece, obviously.

After seeing such international atrocities, the Australian Government fought for years to avoid a local version washing up on our shores – alas, the continued success of the franchise made this a futile fight, and the Queensland Government will now bravely host the cast members as they get spray tans over real tans while spilling $35 cocktails.

Dr Mumbo can reveal Aussie Shore will contribute more than $3 million to the Queensland economy, and provide approximately 100 crew and cast roles during production, with these benefits largely concentrated within the Cairns regions.

At the time of writing, Dr Mumbo cannot, however, reveal the identity of any of the Aussie Shore cast members: none of the ex-NRL players, Neighbours-actresses-turned-naturopaths, Bachelorette contestants, Season 5 Australian Idol finalists, influencers, Silverchair wives, or went-to-school-with-a-Hemsworths. Those details are under wraps.

Now, here’s a sneak peek of series three of Warsaw Shore – you’ll never guess what Gábor gets up to!


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