Dr Mumbo

Taylor Swift fans are stealing CDs from JB Hi-Fi like it’s 1999

Of all the trends to return in 2024, Dr Mumbo certainly didn’t predict that kids in a mall, shoplifting CDs from a chain music store would become the latest craze.

However, this is what’s going down in Sydney, according to in-store signs at the Pitt Street JB Hi-Fi stores. Kids, not yet content to come down from the sugar high that is a Taylor Swift concert, have continued the rush by shoplifting the pop superstar’s CDs.

There is now a blank space — which is the only Swift pun in this article, Dr Mumbo assures you — where the Taylor Swift CDs used to be, with a handscrawled note: “Taylor Swift CDs are kept behind the counter. Temporary. Please ask a member of staff for assistance.”

It’s clear what is happening here.

Society is reverting 25 years, back to the days of wallet chains and Australia’s Choice cola; of Y2K panic, and Nicola Charles, and DVD menus being listed as a ‘special feature’.

Are the children so dulled by the futuristic future, the march of 1s and 0s across their digital lives, that retro pursuits like CDs and live concerts and shoplifting and songs with verse chorus verse structures are swinging back into vogue?

Speaking of Vogue, if this keeps going on, soon we’ll see ELLE magazine back on shelves, and people lining up in orderly queues to see movies at the cinema. Barbie will be ubiquitous, Mischa Barton will be back on the TV, and JLo and Ben Affleck will be in love, rom-coms will see a resurgence, and blink-182 will be touring. It’s all too much!

If this is the future, then Dr Mumbo needs an eyebrow ring and a can of Jolt cola, stat!


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