Dr Mumbo

The bear necessities of political writing

Dr Mumbo’s award for intro of the year goes to Crikey’s Guy Rundle for this item today:

“Down in Colorado, they have a problem with black bears. They’ll sometimes wander into populated areas, and they have long since ceased to be afraid of human beings. Indeed, they are wont to attack, in dark places in the city. Worse, the male bears when in rut, have been known to attack in an, erm, pretty intimate way — always men, whom they mistake for she-bears. Black bears, like many species, have pretty jagged, razorish equipment, and if one goes all the way with you, you are going to be grievously torn up in the process. Say you were a political candidate, smelling sweet, walking through a car park, on your way to a big event, on an evening in Colorado. You might in the snow of a dirty car park, be raped by bear with a razor-like penis.

“So, given all that, technically, it would be possible for Mitt Romney to have a worse time in Colorado than he did last night.”

Now that’s political writing…

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