‘Block and move on’ isn’t the right response to LinkedIn harassment
Creepy messages on a site intended to build professional relationships need to be called out, not swept under the rug, writes Mumbrella’s Josie Tutty.
When I began thinking about the issue of harassment through LinkedIn, I brought it up in Mumbrella’s daily news meeting. Most of the people around the table looked a little bemused and told me they’d never received any non-work related messages through the site.
I figured no one would be dumb enough to send a journalist dick pics.
A quick search around the internet told me this lack of awareness wasn’t simply confined to Mumbrella House. I came upon a LinkedIn post by US agency founder Josh Steimle, whose “mind was blown” by the very idea.
This comment piece is in the same vein as so much opinion content on these types of issues. “Such and such shouldn’t be this way; we need to draw attention and call people out; here are a few cherry picked examples to show how bad the behaviour is” followed by much gnashing of teeth and righteous outrage when it happens again.
There are many things that ought not to be the way they are in the world, yet they persist. Men are always going to try to pick up women whenever they have access – bar, supermarket, work, online – it’s inescapable. Why would LinkedIn be any different? It’s no more or less appropriate than approaching a stranger at a supermarket or on the street. It’s a platform that gives access and it will used for that purpose by a few and gnashing teeth about it is silly.
This situation is a good example of where an alternative approach to the usual outrage might be better served. Contrary to the thesis in the article, block and move on is the best approach here. It’s the online equivalent of saying “no thanks” when approached by a potential suitor in the real world. I hate to revert to the overused “we need to blah blah…” style of prose but in this case it’s useful. We need people to build resilience and not to spend their lives frustrated about things that are inescapable but not damaging.
A lame pick up attempt on LinkedIn does not pose risk to safety, nor does accepting it as a reality of life normalise any of the reprehensible behaviours being targeted by the #MeToo movement. The conflation of these issues is unhelpful.
What I read from this article is that going the extra step and actually providing feedback that it is unwelcome and inappropriate on LinkedIn will help to change the behaviour of those who are attempting to use it as a dating site.
Why should we put up with unwelcome behaviour? Just because it’s always been like that, doesn’t mean that we can’t strive to improve the behaviour.
There are plenty of dating sites that people can use to try and pick up and LinkedIn is not one of those. Making unwelcome advances is not appropriate in the workplace and it’s not appropriate on LinkedIn.
I will be making the commitment to provide feedback first, then I’ll block and move on.
Hmmm, not quite so from where I am sitting. Linkedin is a ‘business’ networking site. It isn’t a dating site.
Maybe Linkedin could update the tick boxes, which give options such as ‘interested in new opportunities’ and add: ‘interested in dating’…? If the box is ticked ‘no’ and somebody still gets a message: block and report away..?
The difference to your analogy of being in a bar is that we can use body language to truly indicate if we are interested. On Linkedin I would not expect an advancement and as such, perhaps a box to tick to say: ‘not interested in dating’, could be the go..? (Some people are interested in dating and this could be a profitable area for Linkedin…?)
I disagree. There are plenty of other online-platforms where people can look for dates. No one signs up for Linked-In thinking someone will hit on them.
I wholeheartedly agree with you Jim. I’ve had males reconnect with me for the apparent sole purpose of asking me out on a date. I wasn’t offended and in fact began a relationship with one. I’m sure this happens quite a bit.
I’ve also had randoms from India trying to connect and showering me with poorly strung together words of apparent affection. Delete and block has always worked. No different to ‘spam’ in any other setting.
Personally I’m heartily sick of this debate and seeing posts like the one referenced in this article get loads of ‘likes’ and comments. I always find it amusing that these and ones from women saying they’ve received criticism that their profile pic is unprofessional or whatever get the most activity on LinkedIn.
Good for you Me Too-ish!
And hey…at least you know he has a stable job! *wink!*
We shouldn’t generalise and suggest women are the only victims of this. As a man, I have to put up with almost daily inappropriate messages from women. True, I am very good looking and my profile pic reflects that, but it’s no excuse. LinkedIn is meant for professional engagement.
Are you serious? Did you see your reflection in a spoon one day and realize you were seriously, ridiculously good looking?
Wow. Sorry that me being a victim is amusing to you.
#metoo
Wow… just wow !
I don’t think I’ve ever seen the victim card played quite so gratuitously .
I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone miss an obvious piss-take so much.
Hey Jim Hopper. If random guys continually tried to hit on you in the supermarket (a place for shopping), the gym (a place for exercising), while walking down the street (a place for, well, just frigging walking), or Linkedin (a profession networking platform), I reckon you’d get pretty upset as well. The issue isn’t women taking it the wrong way, its men being inappropriate and creepy. Women don’t feel safe because they’re casually harassed most days in some form, and then get called out by statements such as yours saying they have to grow thicker skin. Show some respect dude.
Hear hear!
That’s my point though, a message from a random on LinkedIn isn’t particularly harassing if you just block it and ignore it. My point was to get overly frustrated because the world isn’t as you think it should be is silly. Worry about real threats, be resilient for things that can managed in a different way. Yes it’d be great if it didn’t happen, but it does and it’s a downside of having an online profile.
Moreover, most men get 2 or 3 approaches from randoms on Facebook every month who are usually scammers / webcam girls soliciting. It’s the same sort of message. “Hey sexy visit my site” etc etc. Equally creepy and annoying. I wouldn’t blame females for not being aware of this but it’s true.
Linked in isn’t a ‘friends’ social network. Nor is it a bar or restaurant. Nor it is in networking drinks when social cues might be drawn. Like most things in life context and nuance are key. There is zero context to dating in a professional networking site – zero opportunity for nuance. It’s nothing to do with resilience; its inappropriate period and should be called out as such. I believe there are some instances in modern life when your phrase “My point was to get overly frustrated because the world isn’t as you think it should be is silly” could (if not hold but hover near) weight. This, however, is not such an instance.
That’s not even approaching the same level of creepy. Those are automated and you’re aware of it, so it’s not much worse than junk mail. These messages women are getting on LinkedIn however are from real people who, for whatever reason, have developed feelings completely disproportionate to what the woman has signalled. You can safely assume a real person looked through your pictures, imagined who-knows-what with you, and concocted some weird idealised persona for you from a distance.
Also, this person knows your full name, what city you live in, where you work, and who your colleagues are. The mind boggles with what kind of chaos an unhinged person could do with that information. And look what we have here! Exactly the kind of loose nut who thinks LinkedIn is an appropriate place to pick up women.
Facebook botspam is not the same at all.
Not making light of harassment but even for men most messages and invitations to Link on LinkedIn are unwelcome bollocks resulting in Ignore or block.
I have noticed that “People also viewed” has become a list of women for almost everyone these day, they used to be related workers, so I guess stalking is on the rise.
Like all the other social channels LinkedIn sit back and let this happen.
There should be functionality to get the creeps banned from LinkedIn. Trying to explain to your boss or client why you are not on LinkedIn because you’ve been harassing women will quickly stop the behaviour.
Or that time the man who bullied you when you worked for the same company because he thought women should be at home looking after children, to then lose that job because of the misogyny, to then have him stalk you on your LinkedIn account and when you complain, LinkedIn block you without investigation.
This discussion is getting ridiculous. So saying that ‘someone has a nice smile and is interesting’ is now sexual harassment? Really? The screenshot shared (the LinkedIn one) is fairly respectful and polite. OK, LinkedIn is not the most appropriate channel, but honey, if that’s your biggest problem you are dealing with in your life, congrats. Don’t reply and if repeatedly approached, block it and move on. The present movement started with serious problems such as 1) unapproved physical contact or 2) exploiting power relationships for inappropriate romantic advancements. Let’s not ruin it with such non-sense. Don’t indulge in self-importance.
If you want to share your details on any social media, and let’s face it that’s all LinkedIn is. Marketing itself as a professional network doesn’t mean that there are different standards, then you should be prepared to accept that creepy people and morons traverse the whole internet spectrum.
Remember it’s NOT your network, it’s LinkedIns network and you’re just a profile that has current and future data revenue potential, not a person.
If it’s an issue for anyone there’s an easy fix, delete your profile.
Well done Denise.
There has been some garbage on Mumbrella of late but this was a really good piece
Awareness on this issue is great. I have received a number of inappropriate emails and simply block the sender and delete the connection. Like in a bar, if someone approaches you who isn’t your type, you just move on. The issue is where it gets creepy and they find other ways to stalk you and that’s totally inappropriate. I’ve had to block someone on every social media platform in existence as they kept finding other ways to find me.
It isn’t the technology that allows people to be like this, they’ll be like this wherever they are. Like money, it simply amplifies who the person already is. Don’t blame the channel.
I do have to say that a lot of women make the mistake of posting inappropriate photographs of themselves that should be saved for facebook or Tinder. One woman was online ranting about getting hit on regularly on LinkedIn, yet has a profile photo with bare shoulders, smouldering expression and hair falling over half of her face. She argued that because her 12 year old took the photo it was perfectly fine. There is a time and a place. No question, if she put a professional shot up in a professional context there would be far less inappropriate contacts. I’m saying this clearly distinguishing the difference between inappropriate contact and stalking behaviour however.
Username pretty much summarises intent of LinkedIn.
It is what it is: inappropriate behaviour. Doesn’t matter who – it shouldn’t be difficult to keep your ego in check. Nobody needs or wants a compliment from you.