Super Bowl review: It doesn’t have a bowl that’s really super

Apparently the team that wins the Super Bowl doesn’t get a bowl that’s really super.

I learned that today. I was expecting something huge and gold, speckled with diamonds and bits of meteorite. But no. They get a silver spike thing with a ball on it made by Tiffany (the brand of choice for six-foot-eight powerlifters.) I also learned that one of the quarterbacks had to play the whole game with a bad injury. This was presumably why every time he got the ball his name popped up as ‘Jalen Hurts’ instantly reminding us of who he was and how he was feeling. But hey, I could bang on all day about a confusing game I’ve never watched before or just talk about the ads because, you know, that’s the other thing the Super Bowl is famous for.