I was sexually assaulted at an industry event, and my employer did nothing to support me
With awards season upon us, Susie Riddell reveals the dark side of nights out in adland, and asks what you would do if confronted with a serious allegation about one of your colleagues.
What would you do if your employee was involved in a sexual assault at work?
Imagine being contacted by someone claiming they had been sexually assaulted by one of your employees; and that the attack happened at an industry awards night after party. A work event where the alleged attacker was representing you and your company.
What would you do?
Would you hear them out? Even if you strongly doubted it could be one of your tribe, would you at least investigate, just to be certain? Wouldn’t you at least want to clear your company’s name?
Or would you fob them off as one industry leader did when I made that call?
“It couldn’t possibly be anyone here at X. We love women here at X,” he said before hanging up, never to make contact again.
Now imagine the flip-side scenario. You are approached by one of your own employees who tells you they were sexually assaulted at an awards night after party, while representing your company. What would you do?
Would you offer to take them to the police? Offer counselling? Ask if they were OK at least? And look into your HR responsibilities?
Or would you do what my manager did in this situation, and shift uncomfortably then leave the conversation as quickly as possible? Never to bring it up again.
Our industry is full of small companies without HR departments, and often our business owners and managers are not trained in challenging and distressing issues such as sexual assault, harassment and even bullying.
So who is accountable when something like this happens on the job, whether during office hours or after?
Sam Lavery from Laxon Lex law firm informed me: “Employers in Australia will be legally responsible for the workplace sexual harassment of their employees in accordance with the Sex Discrimination Act unless they have taken all reasonable steps to prevent such harassment.
“’Reasonable steps’ means having in place appropriate policies regarding acceptable behaviour and consumption of alcohol, ensuring employees are aware of and reminded about such policies prior to events, ensuring access to alcohol at events is moderated, and ensuring that any complaints are properly investigated and appropriate action is taken.
“It is also important to note that workplace harassment, for the purposes of the legislation, is not limited solely to the office, but can extend to external meetings, industry events and work parties.”
I was sexually assaulted by an industry peer at an industry event. My workplace and the workplace of my attacker made it clear they had no intention of supporting me in any way. I was left feeling not only violated by the assault, but unworthy as a person and a nuisance in my office.
Is your workplace taking “reasonable steps” to protect its employees?
Susie Riddell is a communications and branding specialist, and now the general manager of Agenda Studio
If you require support or someone to talk to:
1800 RESPECT: 1800 737 732
Lifeline: 13 11 14
What do you do when your CEO sexually assaults you at the company Xmas party then pays you off and makes you sign an NDA to never discuss the incident?
User ID not verified.
I was physically assaulted
Left the agency as a result
I didn’t believe pursuing it would be good for my career
User ID not verified.
Thank you for sharing your story Susie. A powerful reminder of our basic human rights
User ID not verified.
Call the Police – I would do this as a leader, colleague, friend, employee or otherwise, no matter who is on either side of the story. This is a crime and it needs to be investigated professionally, not debated by HR, management or other people who have no right to judge themselves – good/smart people in these scenarios should know what to do.
@Xmass Harrass even if you’ve signed and NDA and been paid to be quiet, speak to a lawyer, what happened to you is still a crime, no matter how much you have been bullied to keep quiet.
User ID not verified.
This is very brave Susie, and women all over the industry thank you for speaking out so boldly. What you have been through is completely unacceptable, and the industry needs to listen to women and support them.
User ID not verified.
Thanks so much for raising awareness around this Susie, very much a #metoo moment. Without proper policies or processes in place, not only is there harm caused by the sexual harassment itself but further harm and stress from experience of figuring out what to do next when there is nothing formal to refer to and the people to report it to are inexperienced and incompetent at handling it. This industry needs to seriously lift its game and all employers need to be held accountable for providing safer work environments for women, free of discrimination and harassment.
User ID not verified.
Nothing focuses attention like a pair of handcuffs.
And no one gets struck off quicker than a solicitor trying to cover up a criminal investigation with an NDA.
CALL THE POLICE
User ID not verified.
Of course you are right and that is a very important message. But in these situations you aren’t thinking clearly and you actually may need someone to make that call for you. And if those around you aren’t believing or supporting you, you can feel unworthy of police – or anyone’s – attention. (Don’t ask me why I’m not a psychologist – but this was my experience.) As it was a work event I still believe there is an HR issue here. Our staff need to feel protected and believed, even if it is merely a, “Hey, let’s get you to a police station”. I did eventually report to police.
User ID not verified.
I was an executive on the management team of the flagship office of an internationally renowned agency. I experienced severe bullying by a Senior Planner who was in a clique with some of my fellow execs. When it reached boiling point, I made a formal complaint. The next day, the Senior Planner was stood down. One month later, I was made “redundant” even though my role is a one of a kind and essential to all agencies. I was being managed out because I had become branded as a “trouble maker”.
You can’t stand up and follow policy or process, even if you’re right or innocent or a the top of the agency food chain. Companies bury their dead.
Mine was only bullying, and male on male. There is no hope for sexual harassment victims.
User ID not verified.
Thank you for speaking up about this Susie. My heart breaks that you were left feeling “unworthy and a nuisance”. That on top of everything you had gone through is just not right. Not only should managers be trained better to deal with issues like this but as a HUMAN, you’d think we’d ALL be trained to express our empathy and tap into our supportive instincts towards situations like this. I, and many of us here, stand with you.
User ID not verified.
Susie, thank you for your courage to share this traumatic episode in your life. Once trust is broken in any way by anyone, it’s hard to get it back. You did well to walk away through a report on the culprit (and certainly jailtime to bring remorse), would be good to help others be on the alert if the same thing may happen to them too. Intelligence has nothing to do with morality and decency. The chap was brazen because he has probably done it many times and will not be surprised even done it growing up. Some actions never change. While the trauma will take time to go away, opening up like this is a great way to bring justice. So well done. Every success in your new future.
User ID not verified.
This is a job for the cops, not your boss. While your employer might have policies in place to support you through this with time off, counselling etc, there is no way most businesses would be equipped to deal with this in real-time and provide adequate outcomes. It’s the luck of the draw when it comes to bosses – some people have empathy and others don’t. And no amount of policies will rid us of the predatory and entitled a-holes that we encounter in every walk of life. Let’s not kid ourselves that can be changed.
User ID not verified.
I was sexually assaulted, at an industry awards night, in a very public space, by a very, very prominent CEO who stuck his entire hand up my skirt. I was so shocked that I did nothing. Not laugh, or gasp or anything. Nothing.
This man is highly revered in the industry, and by some of my good friends who I would want to know better.
But I can’t tell them. They don’t want to hear it, and when I imagine telling them, I also imagine them excusing it away, or telling me I must be wrong, or worse – quietly thinking I made it up.
How can anyone hope for things to be better when the most prominent CEOs are also perpetuating this behavior??
User ID not verified.
I don’t want to minimise the psychological challenges and barriers of speaking up but I really think you have to tell other people….either colleagues, his managers…be they here or overseas…or the police. Not only to hold them accountable but to stop them doing it again.
I just can’t comprehend that friends or colleagues wouldn’t react sympathetically to this (even the closest of male work partners is most likely the son of a mother, the brother of a sister and the father of daughters and wouldn’t stand for this)
User ID not verified.
Oh that is appalling. Please message me via LinkedIn if you feel up to it.
User ID not verified.
The only way atrocious situations like this change is if decent people stand together and say loud and clear that it’s disgusting and completely unacceptable. That includes being willing to take a short term financial hit in favour of healthier workplaces, where the best talent thrive and deliver great work (as opposed to the biggest bullies rising to power).
This is true of all kinds of bullying and exploitation (and I’m absolutely looking at you 2GB). But especially this kind.
Applause for your courage, Susie, and everyone else who’s dared speak up when it felt risky. The only thing required for evil to triumph is for good people to do nothing.
User ID not verified.
@ditto that sucks! So sorry that happened to you. As people keep saying to me… were police an option (and I completely understand if you felt they weren’t). The system needs to change, where we all feel comfortable to report assault whether physical, sexual or mental and know it will be dealt with. It’s a workplace. We spend time with people we do not choose to spend time with. We try to make it a harmonious place… but sometimes that’s not possible. Or sometimes dickheads get through the system and become your work mates AKA “housemates you don’t get to choose”.
User ID not verified.
Did this happen to you @Xmasharass ? Get in contact and let’s so something! x
User ID not verified.
Yep basic human rights are sometimes the last to be heard. Thanks for your message. And thanks for being brave enough to use your name! Let’s get together. Send me a message if you like.
User ID not verified.
Anon.. that sucks! It is not good enough. You definitely deserve better. It doesn’t matter if it was bullying, harassment or assault. There is NO place in our workplaces for any of these. Can we band together?
User ID not verified.
Not accept payment or sign the NDA and go to the police.
User ID not verified.
I was too, pressured by the CEO, forced into a cab and told we were going to his place. After repeatedly telling the cab driver to drop me home, lucky for me the cabbie listened to me and not my boss. Seriously he acted like nothing ever happened the next day at work. Married with a child and gorgeous wife – he’s an ass
User ID not verified.
Heard a similar story (factual) a few years back at a major publisher in Australia. A person was being bullied by their bosses boss, unfortunately for some reason they had a protective halo around them and their boss stood at their defense. Didn’t help that the bullies behaviour was the exact opposite of what their boss was trying to enforce across their team, the bullied individual was pushed out
User ID not verified.
At my first agency, I overheard the CEO, very loudly and publicly discussing a sexual harassment complaint made by the receptionist about one of my colleagues. He dismissed the accusation as ” the fat one was probably jealous that the skinny one was getting all the attention.” It sets the tone for how the rest of the agency responds to any harassment. Fast forward a few years later another sexual harassment complaint was made about the same employee. Their response was to make the person who complained redundant.
User ID not verified.
Well done for speaking out about this Susie. This is unacceptable behaviour by the company and person involved. I’m sorry you had to go through such a horrific experience and not have the necessary support from your work colleagues. It doesn’t matter if you’re female or male, we all have the right to feel safe at work functions.
User ID not verified.
I was made aware of two cases of harassment from two different Managing Partners on the same young female Account Exec at a very, very prominent creative agency in Melbourne.
I found myself redundant not long after escalating the rumours to management. The young AE was moved sideways and literally sat in front of the lifts and ignored until she resigned.
One of those Managing Partners went on to become the Managing Director.
User ID not verified.
i was harrassed by my manager. firstly asked advice of my old manager whom i worked for 5.5 years in the same company and whom i respected. his advice was for me to find a new job and that he would be my reference. i made several other complaints to senior manager. i was victimised at work and pushed out to resign from a job that i worked for seven years. i found a new job and left. i made a constructive dismissal claim to fair work. fair work commissioner decided my manager has developed feelings for me and that his actions were only unwise given the obvious power dynamics but not harrassment.
commissioner decided i was not dismissed and that i left my employment because i found a new job (chicken or the egg). judicial system might cause further trauma and victimisation. it’s very expensive and stressful process to go through.
judiciary is stagnant and very slow to accept change. unfortunately, judicial officers are not all trained to understand what harrassment is, how it affects the person in the receiving end, and what the consequences are for the victim.
we all need to change for things to change. there is lack of awareness, there is ignorance. perhaps media can help with this.
User ID not verified.
I had an attractive young lady work for me as a designer. She would need to work with our clients one on one. On 2 separate occasions, I had male clients inappropriately harassed her.
One was a client of three years and one was a new client. On both occasions, I switch out designed immediately to work with the clients and finish the jobs and then I fired the clients.
The clients knew they were being fired for inappropriate harassment to one of my staff. Neither denied it after they were fired.
If your staff know you have their backs they will trust you.
User ID not verified.
Hi Susie,
A big industry name Chairman slipped his hand down into the HR Directors under garments at their Xmas Party this year. She was startled and alarmed. It was reported by a new member of staff supported by another. They felt ashamed because they didn’t do anything on the night.
The Director of HR told them to forget it and that it was just XXX being XXX. He also has previous form for sending girls in the agency messages asking them to wear certain things or certain colour nail varnish. When previously approached by the management team about the allegations he reportedly said nothing. As in literally not a single word or response.
How do you deal with that when the person who is supposed to be protecting staff (HR) is promoting tolerance of sexual assaults or related behaviour?
Recommendations welcome.
User ID not verified.
By “an industry stalwart” no doubt.
User ID not verified.
[Edited under Mumbrella’s comment moderation policy]
User ID not verified.
My God, what has happened to our industry and the world when scumbags like this assume the positions of authority.
Perhaps I’m out of step with how these things are reported but we have #MeToo which seems to focus on celebrities but how are everyday office staff or our young interns supposed to report these sort of predators and offenders.
Susie: Is there a mechanic for reporting these things?
[Edited under Mumbrella’s comment moderation policy]
User ID not verified.
Its never the first time with office creeps and perverts. I mean there obviously was a first time but it was probable back in school and their behaviour has evolved unchecked and therefore confidence grows and they tend to create a circle of acceptance.
I’ve seen this personally. Its easy to become one of the “acceptors”. What do you do when you need a job, and your boss or Chairman knows everyone in the industry, you are a nobody getting started and you see something filthy happen.
The truth is there is little structure, particularly in smaller businesses and this is why these perverts keep going.
In some ways if you really examine it, being exposed on a small level probably helps them grow. People dont report things, acceptance levels are adjusted in line with their behaviours or weird text messages and suddenly you are on the wrong team.
I know its strange but there is a touch of “I was only obeying orders in this”.
It would be good to see a Mumbrella conference on this, there is lots of scope. Time to dredge the sewers.
User ID not verified.
Think about it from the predators perspective as well. When you are a big name with a big profile its hard to know where to turn to get help with these anti social behaviours.
No one wants to be a predator or pervert, why would they? All get outed eventually whether only by reputation among a few peers or legally held accountable. Many have wives and families who would be shocked to hear about these things.
For those who grew up in the industry in the 80s and 90s an entirely new set of values is needed and this is important to role modelling correctly in the future. Greater education, more conservative attire at work and at business functions and less alcohol would be a good start.
User ID not verified.
Until women start getting physical in return such as [Edited under Mumbrella’s comment moderation policy] the man this will continue.
If women started doing this to men, it would slap them in the face and make the news.
But women don’t do that because we aren’t assholes.
User ID not verified.
Either [Edited under Mumbrella’s comment moderation policy] the guy if you want justice.
The cops and HR are useless.
User ID not verified.