Managing motherhood in a client services role
Calling all working mums out there - how many times have you slithered out the door at 3pm racked with guilt about leaving early to make school pick up? To coincide with International Women’s Day, DDB Sydney managing partner Kate Sheppard recommends mums stop the shame and leave loudly.
Being an extrovert, I’m a pretty loud person by most people’s standards. So being quiet about my presence in (or absence from) a meeting room was not my happy place when I first became a working parent 10 years ago.
It’s worth noting this change in behaviour wasn’t by direction from anyone other than myself. In fact, back then I had a very supportive CEO at DDB who made it clear when I fell pregnant with my first child that we would make it work for me, whatever it took.
Despite their support, I still felt as if I had to slither out the door at 3pm and found myself making excuses to clients as to why I wouldn’t be available, rather than reminding them I now work a four-day week.
It had a lot to do with the culture around flexible working conditions at the time. Remember, this was 2009, so I was one of the only women in the agency with a flexible working arrangement and certainly the only one in client services. There was a concern that I’d no longer be at the beck and call of my client’s deadlines and demands due to the needs of my young family.
The only reason I knew it was possible was because our clients were doing it way before agencies. Part time work, working from home and job-sharing were not uncommon in marketing departments at the time. Ad agencies were slower to come to the party, but there’s no doubt we’ve made strides in recent years.
Taking the challenge into our own hands, I worked with a very encouraging HR director to observe and research what big companies like Westpac, Novartis and Unilever were doing, so DDB could implement a consistent parental leave/flexible working policy. That was the easy part. It was the cultural change that took a lot more work. At the time, there was a distinct lack of understanding and acceptance within the broader agency.
‘Why should she get to leave at five when I’m here till eight, just because she has kids? Can’t she get a babysitter? Why should I have to get something ready an hour earlier just so she can pick up her kids? It was her choice to have them, so surely she should figure out how to review stuff when I’m ready? Why should we move the meeting to a day when she’s here?’
In fairness, these weren’t always articulated out loud, but they were absolutely presented in the looks, the comments, and the innuendos. As a result, I became a master at slinking out the door when my colleagues were distracted on phone calls.
One of my best tricks was putting my bag at reception at lunchtime so I could surreptitiously leave my desk at five with just a mobile phone in my hand, and it looked like I was going upstairs for a meeting.
Cut to a decade later and now, with three children under my belt including twins, I have had enough time and experience to learn that leaving loudly is the only way to go. When I realised a while back that other people were looking at me to see if this whole suit/mother thing could work, there was nothing to be achieved from being quiet about it.
Not only did it detract from my authenticity as a leader, but I realised no one else in the agency was going to be loud and proud about their need for personal balance and flexibility – whether they were parents or not – unless I was too.
So, if I’m leaving at five to pick up my kids from school, or coming in late because I need to watch my son succeed/fail at his swimming carnival, or going on a 10 year anniversary trip with my husband the week before a major shoot – then everybody from my team, to my colleagues, to my executives, to my clients know about it.
Acknowledging family exists and sometimes they take priority over my job keeps it real. I don’t look at it as a compromise.
I think my colleagues would agree I get my job done well and in a timeframe I make work for both me and my client responsibilities. Same goes for the other way around, when my job takes priority over my family commitments.
I may be in client service, but I’m also in service to my role as wife and grower of little humans. There ain’t no louder and prouder role than that.
Kate Sheppard is a managing partner at DDB Sydney.
As a working parent I can wholeheartedly relate to this.
May I just add on this ceremonious day that I look forward to reading an article of this nature from a father, doing his equal share, and helping to remove the outdated view that it’s the mother’s role to “slither out the door” early.
Then we’ll start to really see equality in the workplace.
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This is helpful for someone like myself who has also left silently for years and ended up being accused of slackness by none other than my own HR department.
I keep quiet when I left not just out of guilt but that I did not want to play a silly game of quietly mentioning why I was leaving each Monday, Wednesday and Thursday every week. Couldn’t people remember I was a father? Did I need to keep reminding everyone I worked till late most nights or had lte calls when they were all settling in for Netflix?
Henceforth, I’ll be leaving loudly and proudly. No shame, not for mums or dads or carers of any description.
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Great article Kate,
Also juggling young twins and a teenager For years I mastered the how to duck out for pick ups, parent teacher meetings only to get back online to manage the myriad of requests from all departments. Client Service is full on and wasn’t seen as achievable for working mums 10-15 years ago.
However with supportive bosses, colleagues and clients we can achieve great work without the guilt attached.
Keep paving the way sister!
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As a dad who does “his equal share” I relate to this story just as much as any mum, parent or carer would. I’m confident much of the stigma around this will fade along with the all-white male baby boomer execs.
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Love this Kate.
And as someone who has worked in your team, you encourage an awesome team culture.
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I became a single father a couple of years ago and had to work full time and raise a toddler mostly on my own.
The Sales Director told me they still expected all of the previously agreed KPI’s delivered, however I had their support to work as flexibly as required – this was perfect, it was all I needed to hear and it has worked well since.
Management clearly articulating what is expected and then leaving me to do it worked well – my team were across what was happening and were supportive. I did a lot of work at home at night and made it clear to my team that if they receive an email from me after hours I do not expect an answer out of hours. I make sure the team all know when I am leaving early – it is loud because it’s both practical (they let me know if there’s anything they need from me before I go) and hopefully it’s also reassuring to others in the office who have flexibility that they don’t need to feel bad or guilty about it. It’s a part of the modern workplace and rightly so
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In 2000 my son was about to start school and I was working as a senior suit at McCanns. I needed to be able to pick up my son at 3pm, but as a single mother I could not afford to work part time. I approached my boss at the time, Mark Buckman, and asked if I could work from home after 3pm. I put it to him that I would forward my landline to my mobile and pick up on the computer once I got home (which had to be set up by the agency). The only thing I couldn’t do was meetings (but even then I could organise given notice). To his great credit, he agreed as long as all my clients were OK with it. Off I went to ask them. They all agreed readily – Unilever, Reckitts and Nestle. The biggest issue was that the people I didn’t work with directly in the agency thought I was working part time … the reality was I worked more hours than ever before because I never stopped. But I was present for my son and I’m proud of what I did. At the time this was unheard of – especially in account management. So I thank Mark Buckman and all my clients as well as the agency teams that I worked with who supported me. Doing it then and proving it could be done helped pave the way towards other mums doing it now.
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Leaving loud and proud is great in principle.
Just not sure how any Agency would survive if the entire account team left loud and proud between the hours of 300-500pm everyday.
I also suspect the “slithering” came from a sense of dropping one’s pen at 300pm and knowing full well someone staying until 700pm was going to have to pick it up.
Until the Agency commercial model is fixed, none of this will genuinely be solved. We’ll still have too few working parents and too many workaholics.
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Love this piece Kate. Inspirational attitude & leadership. Thank you! In 2019 unfortunately the way parents can or can’t make work & life balance comes down to the luck of working for a progressive agency (ie the mindset of the people who lead it) or not.
The real change will come when governments recognise that parenting is (and should be) a shared experience. Men & women both taking equal & long stints of parental leave, and both entitled and expected to work flexibly and/or remotely. As for the workers staying back to ‘cover’ when we parents can’t. All they are doing is what we did for those before us. The big difference is, we log back in or join the meeting via skype!
As you say we all need to live and work more bravely, and we can only do that if we start to see the bigger, collective picture of societal & economic success (and wellbeing) that comes from a fairer more equal society (and workplace).
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This all sounds very empowering! However, if you’ve chosen not to have children (or were unable to have kids), then this is complete & utter non-sense! As a Managing Partner, you are granted certain privileges, that the childless, low-level employee does not. Why should you be able to have your “cake and eat it too” while those around you slave away until deep into the evening? How might you feel if a single male left early on a Wednesday for his Golf League? Again, good on you if this is the norm in 2019, but those less fortunate actually have to work to earn a decent salary!
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I’m happy to learn that in 2019 we can all do half our jobs proudly! I will be “Checking Out” at 3pm every day & show this link to my HR Department!
Although I am married… we have no children. But, I suspect we can adopt and I can land some free hours!
God Bless Oz!
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