Dr Mumbo

Mitch Fifield’s beard begs big questions in media reform: will he or won’t he?

The new year is gearing up to be a big one in the media landscape, with all eyes on Communications Minister Mitch Fifield.

Industry insiders are asking ‘will he or won’t he’? But the question may not be what you think it is…

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No it’s not the reach rule, rules on media ownership/diversity or even the question of media reform more broadly; the question media insiders appear to be asking is: will Mitch shave off the summer beard? 

So far, The Australian and Sky News have both written about it and shock jock Ray Hadley had the minister on his program this morning to ask the big questions, such as: “How long is yours going to last, and when’s it going?”

Mitch: is there a resemblance to Grizzly Adams? Source: Wiki Commons.

Mitch’s beard: is there a resemblance to Grizzly Adams? Source: Wiki Commons.

Mitch responded that he was allowed such hirsuteness, in part, because he also held the Arts portfolio.

Hadley responded: “May I suggest to you that a Whipper Snipper may be required when you decide to get rid of it? I don’t think there’s been a razor blade invented that will get through that forest.

Fifield: “I think I’ll need to deploy some industrial tools should that day come.

Hadley: “Do it in stages. It’ll be like the B.E.R., Stage 1, stage 2, stage 3 – although it doesn’t cost as much.

Fifield: “That’s right. I’ll tell my office to block out a couple of days.”

The discussion then devolved into debate about whether the Minister looks more like the Captain Fortune character on the Channel 7 children’s show, Grizzly Adams, or a Russian Cossack.

The Senator has even put a call out on Facebook asking for feedback on what is increasingly considered parliament’s best beard.

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Dr Mumbo notes the page almost 100 likes (at time of publication) including one from one Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull.

Sadly, the PM’s vote may not be the one that counts, with the Senator also sending mixed signals, telling Hadley: “My partner loves beards so she has more votes than most,” said Fifield. “So look, it’ll be a case of ‘watch this space’ Ray.”

Who ever said summer was the silly season?

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