The train now departing from Platform 1 is for Obvious, calling at Condescending and Patronising en route

newspaper platformsDo you know what a newspaper platform is?

Unfortunately, Dr Mumbo is from 1982 so he doesn’t.

So he was delighted to come across this video explanation from marketing body Newspaper Works.

Apparently they’re like railway platforms. Only newspapers.

But in case of misunderstanding, they do explain “You don’t actually need to get on a train.” Which comes as a relief to Dr Mumbo.

Next up, how the economy is like a banana smoothie.


  1. Simon Rumble
    30 Apr 12
    11:53 am

  2. Cringe worthy. Though if you think of it as targeted more at the dinosaurs INSIDE the publishers, it kinda makes sense.

  3. Lucia
    30 Apr 12
    1:26 pm

  4. Hi Dr Mumbo

    The video you’ve viewed is an intro to an internal training programme that looks at how newspapers have taken advantage of new and emerging media.

    The full suite then looks at individual strengths of print, website, mobile and tablet newspaper platforms.

    Cheers Lucia

  5. Marc F
    30 Apr 12
    2:44 pm

  6. I can do you one better: it’s patronising AND nonsensical.

  7. mumbrella
    30 Apr 12
    2:47 pm

  8. Hi Lucia,

    In that case, I’m not sure it’s as internal as you intend. The video was top item in today’s industry email newsletter from Newspaper Works. It’s also on the Newspaper Works YouTube channel.


    Tim – Mumbrella

  9. Mista Train
    30 Apr 12
    2:57 pm

  10. News, is available on different platforms. The least useful, engaging, interactive or ad-rich, is the version on “paper”.

    For example, he was reading the paper, then was “late for work” and ditched the paper for his mobile. Clearly, the paper version has little going for it, as the real fun happens online.

  11. beezlebub
    30 Apr 12
    3:09 pm

  12. a bit petty, Dr Mumbo

  13. Mist Da Train
    30 Apr 12
    3:20 pm

  14. I call IP check on beelzebub, a.k.a Devil’s Advocate.

  15. Janelle
    30 Apr 12
    4:10 pm

  16. It’s nice to see Westpac doing their thing to train the kiddie’s early about how the economy works.

    I guess this is the only audience gullible enough to swallow their marketing at the moment.

    Maybe they should have shown this clip to the turkey’s running the show pre GFC.

  17. Harvey
    30 Apr 12
    4:56 pm

  18. who produced this? Music is familiar…

  19. Jacob
    30 Apr 12
    4:56 pm

  20. Patronising, childish, and more than a little embarrassing for those of us that work in the newspaper industry. Who is this aimed at? Our clients (buyers) know what a “platform” is, and so do the people that publish on these “platforms”.

  21. jean cave
    30 Apr 12
    9:02 pm

  22. Anyone who has ever spent a week in a “Training” group for a crap job, will tell you how groan-worthy these sessions can be. Think . . League of Gentlemen. The worst bit is when Team A is pitted against Team B. Can be amusing of course, watching the men in the room trying to establish who is top dog.

  23. Deee
    1 May 12
    12:19 pm

  24. Pauline’s pens!

  25. chris mitchell
    1 May 12
    1:07 pm

  26. Patronising and childish yes – but I’ll forgive everything except the purple cardigan – it’s very Nanna Now.

  27. Cameron
    2 May 12
    2:43 pm

  28. It’s almost a parody of what a video like this should be. I was almost expecting, “Sorry, didn’t see you there…” as the opening line… AND IT WAS CLOSE!

  29. Mist Da Train
    2 May 12
    4:48 pm

  30. @Cameron, he did say it, with his eyes.

    I particularly like the info swirling round him, and that when he got to the train station with its 4 platforms, he rode a bus.

  31. Cameron
    2 May 12
    5:48 pm

  32. Yeah… WTF was that all about?

  33. Mist Da Train
    3 May 12
    10:35 am

  34. This is all about “Newspapers” trying to convince advertisers how relevant and engaging “Newspapers” are without dropping the “paper” concept but simultaneously embracing digital, with all the non-paper goodness it has to offer.

    Thing is, that with digital platforms offering, video, TV, documentaries, slideshows, interactive maps and other data-pr0n, as well as user tracking that paper can barely dream of, it seems like paper has less and less to offer advertisers in comparison.

    To be honest, selling Newspapers because you can digitally multi-channel is a bit like selling smart phones because they can also be an attractive paperweight.