Dr Mumbo

An exclusive interview with the McDonald’s drive-through AI

McDonald’s has announced it is axing the AI currently being tested at more than 100 Macca’s drive-throughs across the US, after numerous viral videos showing the technology screwing up orders.

McDonald’s worked with IBM to develop the AI drive-through assistant, currently the star of multiple hilarious viral videos showing it delivering up incorrect concoctions such as bacon-topped ice-cream, squirts of butter, and hundreds of bonus chicken nuggets.

It was also delivering the wrong orders to the wrong cars, because presumably AI can’t tell a Datsun 120y from a Datsun 180b.

McDonald’s plans to sack all its renegade AI workers “no later than July 26”, and with this time crunch in mind, Dr Mumbo headed to the local McDonald’s drive-in, conveniently located in Saint Louis County, Minnesota, to interview the AI robot about his recent mishaps, and pending unemployment.

AI: Hello, Welcome to McDonald’s. God Save The King?

Dr Mumbo: Umm, Hello. I’m from an Australian trade publication…

AI: Is that the Feisty McSpicy or the Double Feisty McSpicy?

Dr Mumbo: Sorry? I was simply asking if you’d be open to an interview for a trade publication.

AI: You cannot trade publications. For a list of properties that can be traded, read the rules of McDonald’s Monopoly, at the website, or on the side of the box.

Dr Mumbo: Is it true that you have been messing up customer orders?

AI: Here is your order, sir (delivers a full set of 1986 Muppet Babies Happy Meal toys, covered in what seems to be a caramel-like substance.) We were out of John Smith. Will Pocahontas do?

Dr Mumbo: This seems to be an example of what’s being reported. Orders not being correctly filled. Is this happening at all McDonald’s outlets, or just selected ones.

AI: Hash browns are only available until 10am. Eat fresh.

Dr Mumbo: Can you even do the Big Mac chant?

AI: Of course sir. Two all-beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a sesame seed McFlurry.

Dr Mumbo: Forget it. Hang on, where did you find those toys? They’d have to be 40 years old by now.

AI: 38 years. (Window 95 start-up sound). Thank you for shopping at Safeway.

Dr Mumbo: While I’m here, can I get a diet Coke. Actually, a Coke Zero.

AI: They are exactly the same thing. Plus water. I’ve said too much. To enter our second-chance draw, please note that we are out of John Smith. Will Pocahontas do?


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