Dr Mumbo

How to manage your (diarrohea-prone) marketing staff

Dr Mumbo has come across an excellent new management technique.

Manage your team via passive aggressive blog post.

He salutes Marketing Eye’s Mellissah Smith, who describes herself as “one of Australia’s leading marketing experts”. Dr Mumbo feels this is selling herself short. She should add “managment guru” to that resume too.

Here’s her latest post, headlined “The strategic sickie”:

“A couple of days ago, I had a conversation with two of my employees and one said, ‘I bet that Joan will have a sick day while you are in Australia.’

“This morning, I received an email saying, “I will not be in, I am unwell”.

“Chances are that this is just a coincidence, or perhaps it is not, but it is an issue many small businesses face.

“Are your employees just there to get a pay check or are they there because they are passionate about their jobs. Is sick leave an entitlement, or there for when someone really needs it?

“We only have one employee in the entire company that takes a sick day as and when they become entitled to it usually citing diarrohea as the culprit but today, they chose just the words ‘unwell’.

“This is not saying that the person is not unwell, but the bigger issue is how do these people affect your company culture and what role do they play in encouraging others to feel “entitled” rather than use sick leave for instance, for the real purpose of having it?”

Update: (Unfortunately the post seems to have accidentally been deleted from the blog. It follows:)

Source: Marketing Eye blog | Click to enlarge

Source: Marketing Eye blog | Click to enlarge

All of which Dr Mumbo certainly does find an interesting insight into Marketing Eye’s company culture.

And here’s more, from a little while ago, headed “Want a marketing consultant in Melbourne? Beware!”:

“Three years ago I employed a guy as a marketing executive in our Melbourne office and he last a few weeks. He was terrible at everything other than writing a direct marketing letter. A few weeks later, with a web developer as a mate, he started up his own marketing consultancy.

“Would I trust my valuable marketing dollars with him? No. He simply was not across marketing enough and didn’t have a natural knack for understanding a market.

“Recently I employed a marketing manager overseas and while they were in their trial period, I realised that they knew nothing about marketing. In fact, I am flabbergasted as to how they had two good strong references because although she is the nicest person in the world and completely adorable, her marketing skills were almost non-existent.

“When she started working she asked over a series of weeks; “how do you book advertising?” “I have never done a direct marketing campaign, how do you do that?” “I have never written a marketing strategy, how do you do that?” “I have never done social media?” “I have never done PR?” – well what have you done? Harsh I know, but it can be frustrating and expensive for small businesses to hire people.

“I say BEWARE of hiring a marketing consultant in Melbourne, not because it is Melbourne, but because it is like any city in any country around the world. People say what they think you want to hear, but the reality is, you need results and as a small business, you need to work with people who have “been there and done that”.

“Which leads me to travel. If your marketing consultant has not travelled in the past 12 months overseas and I am not talking about a trip to Bali – then fire them. Without exposure to what is happening in marketing around the world and seeing for yourself how marketing is executed in each different country, how do you understand marketing or push boundaries?”

In both cases, Dr Mumbo urges readers to follow the link and enjoy the articles in their entirety. It’s an excellent (he assumes) satirical blog.



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