Look past the condom jar and see the real problem

Reframing the conversation is smart.

Often some women are actually the worst at giving other women career breaks and oppurtunities.
This industry needs to cater for its capable twenty and thirty year olds both male and female on a work/ life balance front.
Dame Quentin Bryce said it well for women but it should be a male and female comment ” You can have it all……just not all at once “

“This is not a female issue this is a people issue. People have babies. People bring up children.”

I’m sorry, but you wouldn’t be saying that if you had children.

I’ve worked across a range of agency and client organisations.

By a village mile, agency treat their staff poorly by comparison. This is where the conversation should start.

And clients are complicit. They screw the agency down on cost and wonder why the account staff are still there at midnight doing the work of two FTE. But it doesn’t matter because they’re the agency.

The nub of justification in the hubris yesterday was that it was a media company which runs 24 / 7. I hate to break it to you, but you’re not the only 24 / 7 company in the world.

Considering our current country imperative for greater productivity, I’m surprised the government isn’t also joining the unions in requiring returning mothers to access part time work. The enlightened organisations have been reaping the rewards for eons.

Yasmin – Sorry I don’t have the answers to your questions raised, but I want to thank you for reframing the conversation towards a positive discussion on how to create change.

This issue proves that even the most benign of us can head up a ‘communications’ network.

adgrunt i think is right, clients are complicit.

but if i’m a client, i don’t care about your agency’s staffing issues. i don’t care about what percentage of your headcount are on maternity leave. i just want my work done on time because that’s what i pay an agency for. sounds harsh when typed out like that but it’s just a commercial reality. ultimately the people who hold the purse-strings also hold the whip.

i’ll also repeat my comment from yesterday: these sorts of debates are healthy for society. men and women should be able to voice controversial views like this and have sensible, good-faith conversations without being slaughtered by the opinion police (as happened in maybe 1/3 of the comments on the original piece.)

Agree w/ Nicho…. it is entirely a female problem!

Last time I checked, most fathers were back at work after a week!

Appreciate the genuineness and positive intent of this article.

(Was tempted to be facetious – just for the glittler filled condom!)

The best discourse I have seen on this topic is Annabel Crabb’s “The Wife Drought”. While the title sounds sexist and controversial, the book is not – it is a fantastic look at why we are in the pickle we are in and why this is such a tricky topic.

Some personal observations:
– It is very hard to put yourself in the shoes of someone who has kids/more kids than you – with 1 baby I was wondering what the fuss was about…by #3 I was totally re-framing my life and my contribution to it. No judgement – just an observation
– I have always felt that workplaces are not very good at balancing work and home – for Mums or Dads (no amount of maternity leave will change that). It’s just history – they weren’t set up for those competing demands.
– My personal choice – and that of a lot of other women is to prioritise family…which often means changing employers, careers and usually salary. Do I regret those choices…sometimes…but I didn’t choose to be a mum to have other people bring up my children – which is what happens if you spend more time out of home than in it. Fact. Again, no judgement on others’ choices – my choice.

Yasmin, I so agree – we need to look for answers. Kids need their parents and organisations need to be productive, efficient places that maximise the value of their staff and their assets. I have the feeling there are some answers out there – but we aren’t feeling enough discomfort to find and adopt these changes.

For me this is a discussion to be held between parents, in the context of their personal goals and aspirations. In the same way that people can decide how they want to live, so too can companies decide how they want to operate.

No family is obliged to have both parents work demanding full-time jobs, or rush back to work after having a child on the basis that their employer is prepared to offer flexibility.

We create our own version of balance in our lives…..if that means manic rushing around and juggling jobs and kids to climb a notch or two higher on the corporate, financial and social standing ladder, so be it, that’s your choice.

But it is not an employers responsibility to accommodate this. Nor should the requirement to support a working parent fall on colleagues shoulders.

Many commentators claim companies that provide better options for working parents, and who provide a better environment for women in general, produce better results.

If this is in fact the case then the market will decide and we won’t have to try to force everyone down the same path. It may suit some employers to offer flexibility, while it may not suit others.

Some industries and companies are more cut throat and demanding than others, make your choices wisely.

I attended the conference and I am more disappointed in Mumbrella taking a throw away comment – made in jest in a panel discussion and creating this headline for reasons best known to themselves
Linda has been a disservice and deserves an apology in my view

“No family is obliged to have both parents work demanding full-time jobs,” rob I’m guessing you don’t have a Sydney Mortgage.

Parents raise children. Women may nurture babies but parents raise children. And Anyang who thinks otherwise should be made to listen to Cats in The Cradle on repeat.

Thank you for addressing the issue with respect to all. Shame the blokes commenting couldn’t do the same.

In light of the comment thread above, I have a 2 for 1 glitter condom special.

@Nicho for being the first to post a negative comment without offering a solution
@Blackbeard for agreeing with Nicho

What purpose does it serve to point out everything that’s wrong or in the way?

If things are going to change, which even in the midst of some of the negativity above I get a sense we all want it to, we need to DO something.

Nicho and Blackbeard – the fact that men are back at work after one week does not make it a female problem. It takes two people to make a baby, not one. Women need to be supported to go back to work part-time or full-time if and when they so desire. That means the men need to take more time from their jobs and life to create that support, otherwise the women have no or little choice and often end up doing 2 full time jobs. Raising children is 24/7. As men binging children into the world it is incumbent on you to work harder as well – not just the women. If you’re not prepared to do that, wear a condom.

Is it surprising that TV audiences are falling when two out of three channels owned by channel 10 show the same program despite advertising different ones. Or even all 3 screening the same program. What’s the point of having 3 channels then???? If you don’t have enough shows to cover 3 channels why have them? For 1, it’s false advertising and two it just turns people off. If you don’t get any ratings where will your TVs channels be then??? Get grip and if you use your noggin you might just get people back to TV. No guarantees of course because by then we will have found other entertainment.

Am midway through Annabel Crabbe’s Wife Drought, and think Yasmin’s article does well to join it in aiming to reframe the conversation to one of positive change. I’m 100% in agreement that ‘people raise children’. Very much like feminism itself, this isn’t a ‘women’s issue’, it’s an issue for our industry, and our culture as a whole, to tackle together. We need to look for solutions that help parents work more flexibly – whilst acknowledging that people who chose not to have children shouldn’t be made to pick up any slack. It’s a difficult and nuanced debate, and can’t be well served by a descent into mud slinging against those interested enough to put their opinions up.

I’m always shocked when men comment that raising kids or being a parent is about the woman making sacrifices or curtailing her career more than men.

My dad was the stay at home parent (he worked for a large corporate who let him work from home most of the time…I’ve no idea how he negotiated that)…while my mum pursued a professional FT career out of the home. It was my dad who came to the midday school assemblies, took us to after school sport, did the grocery shopping and made (terrible) dinners.

And that was 40 years ago.

It was unusual then. I can’t understand why some people find it so difficult to imagine now.