Opinion

Time sheet codes: The honest version

Yawn... is it that time already? An anonymous agency minion meditates on the timesheet codes adland actually needs.

CODE: NOMNOT223 – Waiting five minutes for the office microwave to be free, only to wait 2,789 more minutes because apparently even nuclear radiation can’t seem to warm Tessa’s leftover keto tacos to the appropriate temperature.

CODE: WHO889 – Celebrating the birthday of the new guy whose name you don’t know. Also: office cake. Also: immediate regret.

CODE: BLUB657 – Sitting on the toilet on the basement level mumbling the words ‘Fuckityfuckfuckfuckfuckargghhh’.

CODE: IDK228 – That 35 minute period that just passed in which you were quietly abducted by aliens.

CODE: JOY043 – Daydreaming about spending time outside, breathing in the fresh air and enjoying the tingly warm feeling of sunlight rippling on your vitamin D deficient carcass.

CODE: AWK040 – Doing that weird, awkward half smile in the corridor when you see that chick from HR whose name you should really know by now.

CODE: GUI1432 – Wondering if your lackadaisical attitude to time sheets says everything about who you are as a person and why you aren’t achieving your life goals.

CODE: PEE771 – Sitting in silence on the toilet waiting for the person in the stall next to you to leave, while they do the same.

CODE: WTF290 – Wondering how it is physically possible to have been working for 12 hours but yet only have two hours of work to log. Construct research proposal to submit to physics department of local university.

CODE: AWK399 – Trying to intimidate Rob from finance to get him to leave the room you’ve booked without actually using words.

CODE: NOMNOM122 – Subtly putting down the fourth helping of leftover client meeting cheese while en route to WIP call.

CODE: GUI1209 – Wondering if your attitude to leftover client cheese says everything about who you are as a person and why you aren’t achieving your goals.

CODE: NEWS496 – MAFS recap.

CODE: NEWS455 – Learning way too much about Mark’s big night out last Saturday because #openplan #collaborationmyarse #whoneedsTV.

CODE: TSHIT671 – Re-doing timesheets after receiving passive aggressive email from Rosie informing you that you have used the wrong code.

CODE: WHO752 – Reading ‘Our People’ email update 281 for the week about a new account coordinator’s abiding passion for travel, fashion, and her goldendoodle, MuffMuff.

CODE: WTF439 – Deciphering if any of the last 62 emails you were cc’d on contain any pertinent information.

CODE: GRR333 – Trying to decide which one of Spotify’s 4,537 ‘Chill’ playlists represents the appropriate genre of chill to quell your seething rage at your client’s sheer audacity.

CODE: WTF589 – Reading a cascade of self-congratulatory emails about the latest ground breaking campaign on the health benefits of jalapeño popcorn.

CODE: JOY1743 – Daydreaming about how your talents are wasted on creating genre-defying, cross-channel campaigns about jalapeño popcorn.

CODE: GUI1872 – Being scared you’ll be exposed as a charlatan who knows nothing.

CODE: UGH918 – Thinking ‘I’m too young for this’.

CODE: UGH919 – Thinking ‘I’m too old for this’.

CODE: GROG389 – Culture AKA drowning your sorrows AKA collecting your overtime pay.

CODE: HEHE339 – Writing secret articles for Mumbrella.

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